CINEMATIC CLIMAXES

The most realistic gay sex scenes in film

A scene from Brokeback Mountain
“I wish I knew how to quit you…”

Straight people get sweat-dripping, often uncomfortably real sex scenes in movies, but where are the realistic gay sex scenes? Surprisingly, it was straight actor Daniel Radcliffe who opened our eyes to the fact that there are plenty of films out there that inaccurately depict gay sex, as he keenly observed during his work with his director while filming Kill Your Darlings.

I was talked through it by the director. He would be telling me what I would be feeling in each take. Basically, gay sex, especially for the first time, is really fucking painful. And [director John Krokidas] said that he had never seen that portrayed accurately on film before. He wanted it to look like an authentic loss of virginity.”

– Daniel Radcliffe on losing his cinematic virginity in Kill Your Darlings.

In that spirit, and because we wanted an excuse to watch gay sex scenes all day, we decided to compile a list of movies that are not only realistic to the gay sex experience but some that are just a little too real. You’ll see what we’re talking about.

Check out our list of movies featuring the most realistic gay sex scenes:

David’s Birthday

This Italian movie shows Matteo, a formerly straight man falling in love with his friend’s son David. The scene that gets real is when he’s interrupted in the middle of sex with David by his wife. Matteo doesn’t even stop pumping while begging his wife to understand. Blue balls are real. You can see the scene here, y’know, for science.

I Love You, Phillip Morris

The movie poster of I Love You Phillip Morris. It has a bright yellow background and two men walking two dogs on the beach.
Image Source: Flixwatch

If we’re being honest, we didn’t expect one of the most realistic gay sex scenes to cum out of a comedy movie (see what we did there?) But in 2009’s I Love you, Phillip Morris, Jim Carrey hits a mustached daddy from the back. Clearly the execs couldn’t handle the hotness and it ultimately got a limited theater release. We’d give them a wider release any day. See the sweaty scene here.

Shortbus

Realistic gay sex scenes: The movie poster for Shortbus. It features numerous young, attractive people of various races and genders snuggling up to each other.
Image Source: TV Guide


John Cameron Mitchell created this movie as a real sex experiment. While it may have missed its mark at times, it definitely pushed the boundaries of what the public has seen. For example, it features a threesome between a gay couple, and a random guy, which… gets weird. Bonus: the movie features Kiki of Kiki and Herb! Check out one of the odder sex scenes from Shortbus here.

Shank

Promotional image for the movie Shank. Two men spoon one another, one man's blowing on the other's neck.
Promo Image for Shank – Image Source: IMDB

So, Shank is…graphic. Well, two guys do drugs and have sex in a car in the woods, which is mild enough, until one beats and robs the other. Also, the antihero is raped by his best friend and his lover is forced to watch. Besides all of the realness things get truly real when the main character and his lover have a touching, frank sex scene. Only watch this if you’re into S&M or rough play.

Shame

Michael Fassbender laying in bed shirtless. He is covered by blue sheets.
Still image from the movie Shame – Image Source: Mubi

Michael Fassbender came to many a gay’s attention when he “performed” in Shame, a movie about a sex addict. The part that really gets our attention is when he goes into a sex club and gets orally serviced by a man, even though he’s not gay. There’s your straight man fantasy for ya. See the steamy, “shameful” scene here.

Blue is the Warmest Color

Two young, lesbian women look at each other tenderly in this still image from the movie Blue is the Warmest Color
Still image from the movie Blue Is The Warmest Color – Image Source: Variety

Our list isn’t exclusive to guy-on-guy gay sex scenes! Blue is the Warmest Color, a three-hour adaptation of a Gallic graphic novel, scandalized Cannes with what one critic called “the most graphic lesbian sex scenes in modern cinematic history.” The tale of a 15-year-old girl’s sexual awakening won the Palme D’Or at Cannes and features a starmaking performance by newcomer Adele Exarchopoulos. While it makes us feel a little weird, ’cause they’re so young, the sex scenes are absolutely realistic.

Bent

Promotional image for the movie Bent – Image Source: IMDb

You and your buddies used to do this before you all came out of the closet, admit it! While not exactly penetration, Clive Owen and his lover bring each other to climax while not touching each other at all. In this scene from Bent, the two stand side by side, never look at or touch each other and reach silent climax. We don’t give it enough justice. Plus, Karl Urban is there. Just watch the scene for yourself and imagine the rest.

Brokeback Mountain

Promotional image from the movie Brokeback Mountain. Two cowboys embrace.
Still image from the movie Brokeback Mountain – Image Source: People Magazine

We’ll admit, this is the first film that comes to mind when we hear “gay sex in a movie” and for good reason. The infamous scene may have gone a bit too easy for first time — though that Jack Twist has certainly been around the block — but at the time, two mainstream actors going at it in a tent in the woods was a pretty big deal. And it also inspired the far more graphic Bareback Mount Him.

Runner up: My Policeman

Official trailer for My Policeman

Clearly, we’re experts in movies that have gay sex scenes. My Policeman has some steamy, while not completely realistic, guy-on-guy love scenes featuring the ever-so-handsome Harry Styles that leaves little to the imagination. Worth a watch!

Whether you’re seeking to indulge in captivating stories of gay love on the big screen or simply looking to stay up-to-date with the latest in LGBTQ+ culture, subscribe to the Queerty newsletter! After all, exploring diverse narratives, including those featuring realistic gay sex scenes, is all part of the cinematic journey.

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