A new article posted to the bear blog Bearworldmag.com is calling out racism within the gay bear community.
In a wake up call titled “White Bears, it’s time for you to be uncomfortable,” writer Kyle Jackson says white gay bears, feeling like outsiders in a community that often prizes six packs above everything else, have successfully cultivated spaces for themselves where they feel welcome, sexy, and celebrated. It can be seen in bear circuit parties, bear weekends, and bear Facebook groups.
But there’s a sad irony happening not too far below the surface. Because while they are proudly taking ownership of their own “outsider” status within the larger gay community, white gay bears often tend to shut out anyone who doesn’t look like them–i.e. bears of color.
Write Jackson:
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
During a time when the Black Lives Matter movement has rightfully taken up space on our news feeds, a conversation has opened up again in Bear spaces about the lack of diversity and inclusion, and the silence of White gays when it comes to the lives of Black people and People of Color. But, it’s a conversation that many White Bears still seem to not want to have.
Jackson recalls a recent exchange he witnessed on a bear Facebook group in which someone posted a meme that said “White Silence Equals White Consent. Black Lives Matter.”
The meme was met with harsh criticism, with many saying it wasn’t the appropriate time or place for that kind of discussion and that it ruined the fun of the group by making people feel uncomfortable.
Writes Jackson:
White Bears, it’s time to wake up. No one is trying to destroy your fun, but you literally have people telling you that they feel excluded from your events. People are literally telling you that they feel mistreated and underrepresented. People are telling you that their lives are in danger and they are being killed in the streets, and your reply is “Ok, but I want to have fun without you bringing this up, though.”
Going even deeper, Jackson says that it’s no coincidence people of color are rarely ever featured in promotional materials for bear events, or that they only show up in small numbers to bear parties or bear weekends.
“Why would anyone want to show up to a place where their legitimate calls for visibility and inclusion are constantly shut down by White gays who don’t want anyone to make them uncomfortable?” he asks. “Queer People of Color don’t trust White queers much of the time, and rightfully so.”
So what’s the solution?
Jackson says it’s time for white bears and white gays, in general, to start changing their behavior in a meaningful way. Stop shutting down conversations that make them uncomfortable and start listening.
“It’s time for White gays to accept that maybe making you uncomfortable is the only way that People of Color feel that they can get you to listen,” he writes. “Maybe, in order to finally help fix things, you need to understand what that discomfort feels like.”
Read Jackson’s entire article.
Related: Facebook group “Muscle Bears” proudly bans all Blacks and Asians
Nuttypea
People who don’t fit the fetish feel excluded from the fetish party… interdasting
ThinkPlease
Exactly. I’m not a member of it and, well, I don’t expect to fit in for obvious reasons. That does not bother me.
And if I may be blunt here, it’s not that Bears of Justice Warriors Of Every Stripe aren’t visible and aren’t included, it’s that half the time they want to stand in the middle of the crowd and lecture about how they’re ignored and oppressed and demand people listen to how ignored they are. All. The. Time.
You’re not ignored. We do see you. We sometimes support your causes. We sometimes don’t–I’m not a vegan and never will be. We just aren’t going to cater to your cause 24-7. We have our own things to do. It’s unfair of you to demand that I pay attention to you all the time because I, simply, am not you. I have my own life. Learn that. Anything else is pure narcissism on your part.
msfrost
It is NOT a fetish, it is a congenital Condition, developed before birth.
FunInTheSack
Queerty and their endless articles on racist pandering. Enough already.
Enough with your ‘white guilt’ articles. Why not call out the black community’s homophobic, and discriminatory ways?
Why not call out the number of closeted black guys? Why are they so afraid to come out? It’s because of the white gays? No!!! It’s because their own community is often the most homophobic, and often most aggressive and violent towards the LGBTQ community.
Do some research on the number of murders related to trans members? What color skin do you think the victim often was? Black. And their culprits? Black.
But yes, blame the white gays for making you feel inferior.
For the record, find me one gay party that excludes POC? A gay party for only white gays?
Those parties don’t exists.
But all be dammed at the number of Black Only (POC) parties openly promoted.
Why is it okay for their open exclusion of white gays? Why not call them out for exclusion?
Go on MenPlayLA and you’d see it with your own eyes (prior to Covid).
Aaron
As a gay White queer, it’s always funny to see trolls or other White queers (mainly old and/or conservative) who like to shut down conversations about White privilege and systemic racism. Sorry, it’s a fact!
Many polls have already come out saying most White Americans believe that systemic racism is a problem in the US and that White privilege exists.
It’s so ironic that this article talks about how the status quo doesn’t like being questioned or uncomfortable and that’s exactly what’s happening in this comment thread lol
OrchidIslander
What Aaron said…
Chrisk
The Abbey will sometimes host POC night. I never once heard anyone complain about whites not being invited.
Chrisk
Aaron
Lets see. Anyone that questions Aaron’s logic is just old and a troll and doesn’t want an open open conversation. Hmm..
Pot meet your kettle. Lol
unreligious
It kind of funny that Aaron the social justice warrior sees nothing wrong with his ageism. I might remind you that you are standing on the backs of those old people. Many of those old white guys marched and worked for civil rights in the sixties. Many of the after Stonwall organized the early gay pride marches. Notice I said March not parade. Because that’s what they were and the bystanders were not cheering them on. Are there old racists of course. But please don’t pretend that your generation is free of this fault. What have you done to promote racial justice, other that go online and criticize those who did the heavy lifting?
jms42
Chrisk, Aaron didn’t say that. He said many of those people are older and conservative, which at least anecdotally seems true.
Unreligious – being against racism does not a social justice warrior make. Aaron also said nothing about what older gays may or may not have contributed to the queer community at large nor did he make a blanket statement about older gays, so no ageism. What he said is that many of the white gays who try to shut down conversations about racism are older and conservative. This is far from an attack on all old white gay people. Your defensive reaction and the fact that you make it sound like only white gay men did anything for lgbtq+ civil rights says far more about your position on things than Aaron’s. Pleaser, stop whitewashing Stonewall and the lgbtq+ civil rights movement.
Tyrone Johnston
FunInTheSack sounds emotionally spent on this topic, and I am LIVING for it. May the pain you’re experiencing lead to your demise. Let it burn, baby.
J W G
Taboos are there to be desecrated. Laws are made to be broken.
1898
i mean, it’s probably not a great idea to make assumptions about millions of people based on something that happened in a single facebook group… but it does make for good clickbait
there are lots of people of color in the bear groups in my area and they’ve been involved in those groups longer than i, a white guy, have been
i don’t doubt that some bear groups in some places are more exclusive, but let’s not paint all of them with the same brush. and please don’t assume we don’t know what the discomfort of exclusion feels like
Aaron
As a young White person, I think it’s complete fair to assume White privilege, systemic racism, and White supremacy is a problem in this country. Me being queer doesn’t get rid of my White privilege. Most polls in the US already shared that most White Americans believe systemic racism exists. Sounds like you’re a minority amongst White people and are really “uncomfortable” when made to feel that you are. Lol
Chrisk
Aaron
Where is this mythical “white privilege”? Please tell me exactly because I’d like a little help myself. Do I get a better job, easier promotion, more $.
Must be so rough carrying all that white guilt on your little shoulders. Lol
Tyrone Johnston
ChrisK, if you are indeed white, you’re just an all around loser. Check your dryer lint for some of that white priv. Clearly, you aren’t emptying your pockets before throwing clothes in the wash.
Jared MacBride
I’ve known a lot of white bears and not one of them is remotely racist. Among “the gays” it’s by far the most open and accepting community.
MISTERJETT
Jared, by me being a person of color, i can say that is so not true. it would be ideal that things were different in our community, but it’s not.
Manchester
How many have you met? 2? GTFO with that BS.
Jared MacBride
@MISTERJETT – Because you are “a person of color” you can tell me that the experience I related is not true? Congrats on the super powers, even if they led you astray this time. You can tell me what your experiences are, not mine.
henare
I’m going to bet that you’re a white dude who can’t actually distinguish the racist bits because they really don’t affect you directly. As an OG bear from way back I can sadly confirm that racism can be a problem with parts of the bear world.
The mistake is to presume that any of these people has learned too much from their experience as a gay guy to apply that to their relationships with others. At the end of the day, these guys are all people first, and sadly racism (and other *isms) come with that.
peacefulruffneck
EYE ROLL! Apparently the writer has never been to Beef Dip in Puerto Vallarta or TBRU. Plenty of friendly bears there and color is about the last thing they are worried about. Running out of beer or vodka, well that’s another story.
Aaron
Your argument is anecdotal at best. White exclusivity is general.
Chrisk
Ruh ro. You’ve pissed off Aaron the PC warrier by contradicting and his racism is everywhere.
RobF
This is complete BULLSHIT! In this article and Jackson’s piece, I can’t find one direct example of where black bears were discriminated against or made to feel less than at any bear events. This whole movement is really starting to get out of hand with these broad, baseless accusations!
Aaron
It’s ironic that your outrage is more outrageous than what you’re accusing this article for being lol
dmanhart
Aaron? Hunny? Just because you are not invited to any parties doesn’t mean the POC aren’t.
It seems like you are angry that bears are not interested in you. Here is a hint, bears are not attracted to twinks. Only pedophiles are.
lol
TheAbsoluteTRUTH
Dear white folk, its 2020 and you can do no right. There is nothing that will ever be right again until we can philosophically put the entire race at the proverbial back of the bus. And if you don’t go willingly every media outlet in this country will pound you with never ending stories till your beat into acceptance of what a piece of shit you are. Or wait maybe your not a pos but we know your great great grandpappy was a slave owner maybe so you must feel guilty forever for the sins of the past. Until you understand its your turn at the rear of the bus nothing will ever be right. Sincerely white guilt
Aaron
I know, White men are having a really rough 2020. How are they managing? lol
Brian
I still don’t understand why so many people seem to think the cure to racism is tearing down white people instead of elevating black people. Putting people in the defensive isn’t the greatest way to enact change in them.
Aaron
Tearing down White people? I’m White and I don’t feel like I’m being attacked. Lol
PoetDaddy
Interesting how many comments by white people here say that there is no discrimination against black bears or black trans folk or just any black LGBTQ person. Pretty much proves how much racism there is and how much denial and how uncomfortable white people are when we are called out. The real tipoff is in the anger. You don’t have to post a sign that says “NO BLACK PEOPLE ALLOWED” to make POC feel excluded. It saddens me that when some LGBTQ white people hear POC saying, “This hurts me,” the response is “Get over yourself, you’re imagining it” or “Oh, that’s not fun. Let’s talk about something else.”
ThinkPlease
Let’s put it this way. If all anybody can do is sit around and whine, it’s not that bad. The day you get off your butt and do something real about it is the day I think it’s an issue. Until then, it’s just an Internet warrior spraying words around.
Useless, in other words. And we’re getting to the point where it’s no longer playing well because we’ve heard it before, observation doesn’t fit reality, and somebody had to go and define “microaggression” to mean “doesn’t instantly agree with everything I say” and will doubtless take this post to mean exactly that because I’ve dared to disagree with them.
But heaven forbid that should work both ways. 🙂
Manchester
@thinkplease: Why don’t you take your screen name and put it to good use because you sound absolutely bigoted. If you actually read what you wrote before you pressed post comment, I really feel bad for you. Pathetic is not even close to what you are. It must be awfully lonely in that cavernous space between your ears.
ThinkPlease
@Manchester: Insults aren’t a proper comeback to an argument, so I’m simply going to assume you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about and just want to make yourself feel better about…well, something. That’s too bad. I suggest a good therapist as the insult cannon response seems to be pretty common with you.
Seriously, get some help, you’ll feel better and think more clearly.
mvecera
I’m a bit confused by the choice of photo. That is BeefDip in Mexico. Something like 40% of the people in that photo are BIPOC, mostly the POC part, and mostly Latinx, sure… but it is Mexico. This is not exactly an ideal picture to demonstrate a LACK of diversity.
Aaron
I don’t see how a photo of POC should not be used to highlight a lack of diversity. Are you assuming it should be a photo of White bears? Either would be fine because the article involves both parties.
mvecera
Is that what is happening? Maybe? It appears directly under the quote “people of color are rarely ever featured in promotional materials for bear events”, so I thought it was meant to illustrate a LACK of diversity. Perhaps it is being used as an EXAMPLE of diversity?
Nuttypea
@mvecera: I think that’s the gist, I took it to be “Here’s photo proof of POC bears, so why aren’t POC bears more represented?”
@aaron: 90% of this article is anecdotal (save maybe the photos), nice try tho
Fredrick Bertz
As a chubby, all bear events I attended in LA being large but not large enough to make me a fetish was very uncomfortable. Also, although there were plenty of Latino bears, I only saw a couple of Black or Asian men. This has been my experience both at events and on dating apps.
IanHunter
I really don’t think this is very comprehensive.
huckchuck
To paraphrase, the solution to the lack of inclusion and diversity at bear events is for white bears to not be silent and do more to support POC.
I take it that means these white bears, when planning this vacation event, should be openly asking, how do we get more POC to show up at the events?
ShowMeGuy
In my town, we tried to get more “People of Color” and Lesbians involved in planning of PrideFest because the same old and tired complaints about Pride being “just for gay, white guys” and drag queens was always being professed all over social media. Yet the POCs and the lesbians couldn’t be bothered to complete surveys about what type of events they would like to see at Pride nor attend the planning meetings to do any of the work so that PrideFest could look “less gay, white male” or so that PrideFest could happen at all.
You can’t change a system from the outside looking in.
#HistoryGetsMadeByThePeopleWhoBotherToShowUp
Fra
unfortunately nowadays it seems more complicated like… how do we get more POC to show up at the events without being accused of being racist fetishists?
Thad
Maybe white gay bear privilege is a thing. And maybe it needs to end. In the meantime, I believe it should be shared. If anyone wants to treat me better because I’m a white gay bear, I feel they should treat all my friends and acquaintances and coworkers that way, no matter who they are. After all, if some are held back, we all are held back.
WSnyder
I don’t consider myself a ‘Bear’ being 6’4″ and 225 and not hairy, at all. Now if someone calls me a Bear, I’m not going to make a thing about it, I simply don’t consider myself one. That said, I am in two groups that HAVE been subject to discrimination within the LGBTQ+ Community and more so than outside our Community. Being 55 and balding, I’ve been shunned and called names by other gay men and it’s hurt. Yes, I know some who like ‘Daddies’ and have meet a few. But for every guy into Older Men, I’ve meet guys who treat men like a Leper. Ageism in the LGBTQ+ Community IS an ugly truth. As to is Ableism and that one hurts even more. I lost a leg, I’m not ‘Defective’ [as I have been called more than once] and rejected by guys even though they claim to like Daddies and are non-judgmental. Once I mention being handicapped or in attempts to avoid that word, tell them I lost part of my leg, I still get ghosted, ignored or worse.
The Point? That while not a Bear, I KNOW this community, one built around accepting everyone as LGBTQ+, does practice ugly forms of discrimination and that many have NOT learned the lesson of accepting people and not to judge. And we should know better.
Manchester
So true. I was just talking about this with my friend the other day. The bear community is THE WORST at marginalizing other gay men. It’s sad really because outside of their little cliques, they are pretty pathetic. And they also tend to be super whorish which is a major turnoff.
Yooper
Not even going to pretend to understand where the author, or is it journalist (doubtful there), is coming from. Nothing sexier than a beefy black bear in my book. Always found the bear community fairly inclusive, of course you can find examples of anything anywhere, so trump it up and make it a thing.
Aaron
Proof of your preferences for Black bears doesn’t disprove the overall racial bias in the gay bear community.
kookookachoo
I’m definitely a white gay bear. We have events? Who knew? And who the heck cares? I’ve got my life to live and it doesn’t include bear “events”.
Brian
Some people plan their entire lives around these events. I don’t get it. I see pictures and it always looks like one of the levels of hell to me.
Consider This
Gay men always have and always will date those they are attracted to, for whatever reason. No one is going to change that.
Aaron
This article is not about dating. It’s about White bears existing in the same space with bears of color. You’re so off lol
Consider This
Many of these events lead to dating scenarios, so the concept stands. It may be confusing to you however…
RFD
The constant fighting online is sickening. It is also so tiresome when people attack those with a different view then your own. I respect the opinions of others…even the ones on here and other places I do not agree with at all. And as far as Bear groups. I was in one a while back and they were always welcoming of everyone regardless of color. conferences too from what I saw. There were members of color and they seemed to love the group. Please are welcome but also have to show up to benefit.
rray63
Do you folks ever stop and wonder what race is NOT called a racist of any type by BLM and other organizations? According to these groups, including the LGBTQ activist, all people, no matter what are racists at birth, except of course for black people. Wake up and smell the coffee. Don’t call me a damn troll, I’ve been gay since before most of you were born. But it only takes common sense to see something is wrong with this, accusation.
sacha99
That’s a lie
barryaksarben
All of my friends are bears, I however am not a bear as I have been thin. I am white, I have gone to many bear events and been treated horribly. I have even been insulted to my face about not belonging there. I can only imagine it is worse for black men. We all need to look at our attitudes towards the “other” and try to better ourselves
nunya
Yaaaaaaawwwwwwwwn. So over whiny black people.
gfmontreal
I am a white bear, and my boyfriend is a black bear. I have been a member of that “community” for at least 10 years now. Although I don’t share all the views expressed by the author, I have to admit that it is true that the bear community (from my experience on gay bear app Growlr or bear bars in many countries and events etc.) is really not open to bears of other ethnicities than white. By definition (in the majority of bears or bear chasers head), a gay bear is white, daddy like, beard, hairy, stocky, with a belly. Because I correspond to this type, I get attention from every race on bear dating app. I have of course never experienced racism on there. But my boyfriend, who is a very attractive black bear (hairy and beard), gets a lot of racist comment. I am always shocked how offensive these are. He gets use to it and he told me he knows that the bear community is not looking for bears of color like him so he is ok with that. Slim chasers of all races also know that they will be rejected A LOT in bear bars. I always try to be nice to them but I see a lot of disrespect from gay bears toward them. There is only place for white bears, unfortunately, maybe middle eastern men because they are often bearded and hairy naturally, but then again, its often fetishism (I have many middle eastern bear friend who told me thats how they feel, but at the same time, only want to have sex with white bears…so…). The bear community is getting very popular around the world, and often these men will complain about the representation of gay men (not enough heavier gay men in advertising) but at the same time, they would never put a POC on their own advertising. Sad but true. (sorry for bad english)
Ronbo
Call the media: I’m a white gay bear and I’VE been excluded also!!!
Tyrone Johnston
The gay community is in complete shambles. Fat, unhealthy white dudes think they are hot and others complain because they want to play with them? Bring on the rapture, NOW.
Sly
when everything became a “privilege” ?
My god …