Image Credit: ‘My So-Called Life,’ ABC

Welcome back to what is normally our queer film retrospective, “A Gay Old Time.” However, in this week’s column, we’re shifting gears in honor of trailblazing TV series My So-Called Life‘s 30th anniversary.

Though this column typically focuses queer-centric films of yore and what they have to say about our community, the landscape of queer entertainment extends way beyond that single medium. This week, we’re dipping our toes into the portrayal of queer characters and stories on television, and the legacy that they hold decades after they first aired.

In many ways, TV feels way more intimate and personal than films. Although the lines between the two have become blurrier in the last decade with the arrival of streaming, traditionally film was something you went to, and television was something that came to you.

Wheres as most movies are a contained experience, a TV show is a story told over time, ranging from a few weeks to potentially decades. The characters show up on your screens every week and their lives reveal themselves to you gradually. You get to live with, care for, and invest yourself in these stories for longer.

The history of queer representation in television during its first decades was as complicated, rocky, and sparse as it was with film. It was a gradual progression of coded and closeted characters, minor subplots, throwaway lines and small acts of visibility that slowly gained momentum and eventually led to the groundbreaking landscape we are in right now. But someone had to go first. 

The Set-Up

This week, we head back to the ’90s to revisit ABC teen drama My So-Called Life, one of the most influential television series ever made, which premiered 30 years ago on August 25, 1994. But we specifically want to tak a closer look at its season one finale “In Dreams Begin Responsibilities”, which would also sadly become its series finale.

The show was created by Winnie Holzman (who went on to write the book of a little Broadway show called Wicked—you may have heard of it?) and starred Claire Danes as Angela Chase, a high schooler going through the emotional turmoils of adolescent life, and her circle of friends and family. The series was considered groundbreaking for moving away from the heightened, soap-opera tone of earlier teen shows (from the melodramatic Beverly Hills 90210 to the comedy Saved By The Bell), and into a much more grounded and emotionally authentic portrayal of teenagers. 

This was a show that didn’t look down at the youth, and didn’t portray them as snarky, whiny, or perennially hormone-guided. It took their issues as seriously as they did themselves, and dove into heavy themes in an unflinching and honest way, including abuse, homelessness, adultery, drugs, and yes, homosexuality. Angela’s best friend Rickie Vasquez (Wilson Cruz) became the first openly gay main character in a primetime television series, as well as the first openly gay character of color.

Rickie Vasquez: Boy Wonder

Image Credit: ‘My So-Called Life,’ ABC

Rickie has one of the most emotionally fraught arcs of the series; he is kicked out of his house by his abusive uncle, and after staying with Angela’s family for a bit, is fostered by the school’s english teacher, Mr. Katimski (Jeff Perry), who Rickie can heavily relate to as he is also implied to be gay.

But it’s not until the season finale that Rickie is able to speak the words out loud of his identity to others, and to himself, for the first time.

This episode follows the throughline of dreams. All characters have had a dream that carries thematic relevance for their lives; Angela has a troubling dream involving her perennial crush Jordan Catalano (Jared Leto) and his grandfather’s funeral, Angela’s mother dreamed of a former high school flame, and classmate Delia (Senta Moses) dreamed of Rickie.

This leads to typical teenage speculation about Rickie’s tastes and proclivities. In a sweet, poignant, and remarkably matter-of-fact scene, Delia confesses her crush to Rickie in person, but prefaces by saying that she knows that he is gay. Rickie then comes out to her: “I don’t usually say it. I mean, I’ve actually never said it… out loud,” he confesses for the first time.

Life Imitates Art

Image Credits: ‘My So-Called Life,’ ABC (left) | Wilson Cruz via Getty Images (right)

It is a small but monumental moment, both within the world of the show and with the larger impact it would have on entertainment. Rickie seems simultaneously relieved and terrified at saying those words out loud, and even though it doesn’t faze him on the outside, it’s clear that he knows his whole life just changed.

Beyond the show, actor Wilson Cruz decided to come out himself while promoting the series, becoming one of the loudest advocates for the community and carrying the often heavy and unforgivable weight of representation with not much other support for many years.

Since this episode ended up being the show’s last, we can only speculate how Rickie’s story would have gone further as an openly gay character. His coming out also serves as a final button to his character, although the impact of this small moment still sees its ripples to this day.

Timeless Teen Idol

There is a direct line between Rickie Vasquez and the characters of Queer As Folk, Will And Grace, Glee, and Looking. Many TV creators and showrunners in the years since (including 13 Reasons Why, Gossip Girl, and Riverdale) credit My So-Called Life with shaping their artistic voices and showing them what kind of stories and characters could be told in television.

Rickie’s coming out in My So-Called Life  wasn’t treated as an after-school special, nor did it cause a national uproar (unlike Ellen’s would a few years later). But it still acknowledged the tremendous weight and importance of the moment.

It did with the same honesty and heart that the show had as a whole: it didn’t brush aside any emotion or earnestness, but rather embraced the feeling of life-or-death stakes that the characters (and every other teenager of that age) were feeling. It just happened to also create a landmark moment of queer representation at the same time.

My So-Called Life is streaming on Disney+ and Hulu, and is available for digital purchase via Amazon Prime Video and Apple TV.

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