We have some unfortunate news for the straight bros among us: women wish you were a little more like us!

Hear that, Harrison Butker?

A new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior finds that women are more attracted to “slightly feminine men” as long-term partners than men who exhibit who more traditionally masculine traits. Call it a victory for the fem tops, as well as a fascinating indication about why genes linked to male same-sex attraction persist.

“Darwin’s theory of evolution is one of the most elegant and well-supported theories ever posited,” said study author Thomas Felesina of the University of Queensland in Australia. “Few theories have such a substantial body of consistent evidence. Therefore, when phenomena appear to contradict Darwinian evolution, they are incredibly fascinating to me.”

As the article’s author outlines, traits that don’t aid reproductivity shouldn’t subsist at high rates. Yet, an estimated 5.5% of the U.S. population identifies as LGBTQ+. Though Americans overestimate the gay population (a 2019 Gallup poll found that U.S. adults estimate that nearly 25% of Americans are gay or lesbian), that’s still a sizable percentage.

One of the study’s missions was to find where genes that spur same-sex attraction fit into the evolutionary system. That brings us back to straight women, and their attraction to more sensitive guys.

The researchers, in an apparent nod to the gay community, turned to the “desirable dad hypothesis.” The thesis suggests that genes associated with same-sex attraction can also make straight men appear more feminine. And women are more attracted to men with discernible femininity, because they think they’re better long-term partners and fathers.

For the study’s purposes, 1,632 straight men in the U.S. and U.K. were asked about their personality traits on an online questionnaire. They were also asked whether they have any close relatives who identify as gay or bi.

The results showed there was a correlation between men with traditionally more feminine traits–warmth, reassurance, nurturance—and men with gay or bi relatives. “This suggests that genetic factors associated with same-sex attraction may also enhance traits conducive to parenting in heterosexual men,” the article says.

In the second and third studies, researchers selected 152 women and had them rate dating profiles, with each of them portraying a man with either masc traits, fem traits or a combination of both. “Masc traits” were listed as adventures and competitive, to go along with “masc hobbies” such as golfing and camping (it’s giving country club and rugged).

Conversely, more fem profiles might say the men were more nurturing and sociable, with interests in poetry and baking.

In the end, the fem profiles won out. Women found the “fem men” more attractive and more paternal. (Combined profiles were rated highly, too, proving that everybody loves a vers king!)

“Women rated profiles of men with feminine traits like warmth and nurturance as more appealing for long-term relationships and equally attractive for short-term relationships compared to profiles of men with masculine traits,” said Felesina. “This indicates that slightly feminine men have better long-term partner prospects without losing short-term desirability.”

Keen readers may notice the traits associated with femininity–warmth, kindness, etc–are also associated with well-rounded and stable adults. “Fellas, is it gay to… be nice?”

Apparently, the answer is “yes!” We wouldn’t have it any other way.

The study results are reaffirming, especially in the wake of the Harrison Butker news cycle. The NFL kicker ripped Pride and implored men to assert their dominance during a misogynistic commencement speech.

“Be unapologetic in your masculinity. Fight against the cultural emasculation of men. Do hard things,” he told the students.

Butker saved his most chilling words for the graduating women. “I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolic lies told to you. Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world,” he said.

Though Butker has doubled down on his remarks, it’s apparent his retrograde thinking is in the minority. Even the nuns at Benedictine College, the conservative Catholic school at which he spoke, denounced his offensive message.

“Our community has taught young women and men not just how to be ‘homemakers’ in a limited sense, but rather how to make a Gospel-centered, compassionate home within themselves where they can welcome others as Christ, empowering them to be the best versions of themselves. We reject a narrow definition of what it means to be Catholic,” they said in a statement.

And women reject Butker’s atavistic view of masculinity. Gay men are right there with them.

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated