“If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.”
At least, that’s what Beyónce says.
Queerty features editor Matthew Wexler had a similar thought when he and his boyfriend discussed getting married a few years back.
That plan didn’t pan out, but Matthew has been ring-obsessed ever since — and not just for matrimony.
What follows are his thoughts on all things rings with a little help from LGBTQ+-friendly jeweler Shane Co.
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Queers have always been rule-breakers: who says an engagement ring or wedding band need only be given for traditional nuptials? A handful of special friends and family have been instrumental in making me the person I am today. I’d feel inspired to bestow them with a ring that speaks to their personality and celebrates our bond.
And I’m not opposed to having an option in my back pocket if and when Mr. Right comes knocking at my door. I turned to Shane Co. and found some gorgeous settings.
The fourth-generation family jeweler dates back to 1929, has long been an LGBTQ+ ally, and responsibly sources its gemstones to create in-house designs that could even catch Queen Bey’s eye.
Drama with a side of black sapphires
I hadn’t heard of black sapphires until I read about content creators Hannah Magill and Alia Guidry (@hersandhers_) discovering them for the first time on their own Shane Co. shopping spree.
The Nightingale Black Natural Sapphire Couples Set is everything I want in a ring: sleek, sophisticated, and rich with craftsmanship. Set in white gold and featuring a meticulous rope detail on the ring’s side, it gives me James Bond vibes, which is perfect for my dream honeymoon in Nice, France, where I can easily envision myself behind the wheel of an Aston Martin DB5, clutching a steering wheel as my black sapphire ring catches the French Riviera sun.
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A double proposal sparks the hunt for the perfect wedding rings
After two engagements, content creators Hannah Magill and Alia Guidry (@hersandhers_) head to heritage jeweler Shane Co. to shop for wedding bands.
Vintage inspiration
When I saw this vintage-inspired ring, I immediately thought of my “work wife,” Merryn. We’ve known each other for over 15 years, and a while back, we found ourselves traveling solo on a Provincetown-bound LGBTQ+ cruise. We shared meals, recapping our daily excursions, before diving deeper into the triumphs and tribulations of queer singledom.
The Chantilly Ring features intricate milgrain detail, which forms a lacy, botanical design along the band. Diamond accents catch the light at every angle, and the sleek platinum band is the pièce de résistance of precious metals. The center stone can be customized, but I’d opt for a blue sapphire to pay homage to Merryn’s Australian homeland and the blue waters of the Great Barrier Reef.
The platinum’s strength, combined with the vintage inspiration, speaks to Merryn’s deep knowledge of queer history and the power and fragility of our collective fight for equality.
A modern addition to mom’s jewelry collection
I’ll own it if it’s cliché to say I have a special relationship with my mother. When I came out at 22, I asked my mom if she had suspected that I was gay, and with a wry smile, she said, “Seriously?”
We recently moved my parents into independent living, allowing me to raid her costume jewelry and steal a few items from her 1980s brooch phase. Otherwise, my mom’s style has always been modern minimalism. The Bold Cathedral Ring in 14k gold perfectly captures her aesthetic. I love the gently graduated design, which becomes thicker toward the ring’s center as if the stone is weightlessly hovering in its setting. The ring, like my mother, is unexpected.
It’s all in the details for found family
I originally met Dan through a colleague while working at a small nonprofit in New York City that provided temporary housing for caregivers of those facing critical illnesses. Initially founded in response to the AIDS crisis, the organization expanded to a broader range of services, but its staff and supporters remained firmly rooted in the LGBTQ+ community.
While I’ve been blessed to have a loving, accepting family, many queer people aren’t so lucky and create families of choice for those deep, lifelong bonds. Over the years, Dan has become one of those people to me — a gay brother from another mother! And he also has impeccable style.
Whenever I see Dan, he has a new pair of designer eyeglasses. The shoes match the outfit. He gave me a Coach leash when I adopted my first dog. You see where I’m going. The Knife Edge 14K White Gold and Sapphire Band has Dan’s name all over it. The band’s knife detailing and single natural sapphire accent suit his cosmopolitan demeanor yet remain classic enough to never go out of style.
A bit of bling for bosom buddies
Never underestimate the power of friendship and allyship. I first met Melissa while working as a private chef at an LGBTQ+-friendly boutique retreat center in Vermont. We’d bus up stressed-out New Yorkers for a weekend of farm-to-table cuisine, yoga, and local excursions, but Melissa rarely left the kitchen. She’d perch against the oversized island, watching me cook and asking a ton of questions. Fifteen years later, she jokes that she bullied her way into a friendship with me, and she’s not entirely wrong.
A strong-willed lawyer, Melissa is all business when she needs to be but is also as food-obsessed as I am. We’ll often splurge (or bargain hunt) for dining experiences, and whenever we meet up, we’re inevitably dressed as if a stylist coordinated our outfits.
In a heteronormative world, it’s easy to think intimacy can only come in the form of a romantic partner, but I’ve come to learn otherwise. The Baguette Natural Diamond Set speaks volumes about connectivity, featuring baguette accents among classic round natural diamonds. A friendship ring set represents a modern approach to the deep bonds with those we love and those who stand by our side.
A ring for a longtime friend
Kendall and I met in fourth grade. We went to homecoming together, and years later, I attended her wedding. The marriage didn’t last, but our friendship has stood the test of time. Kendall has been surrounded by queerness most of her life — that ex eventually came out as gay, as did one of her children. It’d be easy to throw up her hands in defeat and wish for things to be more “normal,” but that’s never been Kendall’s style. She’s been a person of integrity and grace for as long as I can remember. Except for that time she encouraged me to cut school to go on a road trip.
If anyone deserves a showstopping Cyprus Halo Ring featuring natural diamonds surrounding a marquise center stone, it’d be Kendall. The mix of hand-matched marquise, pear, and round accent diamonds, plus the glimmering pavé inlaid in the 14k gold band, delivers the kind of maximalist wow factor that I know she could pull off.
The center stone is customizable, but there’s no question that I’d go for a ruby to complement Kendall’s burgundy hair. The ring reminds me of a jewel Queen Charlotte might wear on Bridgerton. Although she isn’t technically royalty, she should be treated as such for the unconditional love she bestows on all around her.
It all starts with self-love
When I first saw the Cole 14K Gold and Black Diamond Ring, I immediately thought of building blocks and what it takes to create a fulfilling life as a gay man. I was bullied before I even had the words to define my identity. I liked art and musical theater in a high school known for its sports teams. I moved to New York City with a meager envelope of cash saved from waiting tables and no job prospects. I not only landed on my feet but have occasionally soared.
Engraved lines in the 14k rose gold band set off an emerald cut black diamond — a refined geometric that reminds me of the soaring structures that define New York’s skyline. This ring took my breath away, like that first city view as I crossed the George Washington Bridge in a U-Haul truck. As RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”
This ring tells me, “You’re worth it, honey!” And you know what? I believe it.
For more ring ideas for every occasion, visit shaneco.com.
