Have you heard the good news? Gays can get married in all 50 states!
But just because we can do something doesn’t necessarily mean we should.
We wanted to hear about gay married life straight (so to speak) from the source — the good, bad and ugly.
Here’s what Whisper dug up:
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
BJ McFrisky
Careful what you ask for, kids . . .
Bauhaus
What we asked for was marriage equality. We got it.
Still groveling to your winger family and friends, you obsequious tool? Must have been a tough week for you and your brethren.
musctop
@BJ McFrisky: Why is that? Because you never hear that from married straight couples? Get a life, friend. We went into this knowing not every marriage is going to be perfect. But it’s ours at least. Finally.
Bauhaus
@Bauhaus:
Comment for BJ – and doormats.
Bromancer7
With gay marriage comes gay divorce, and it sounds like a lot of them are ready for it. People change, there is no shame in admitting that you and your husband are no longer a good match and that it’s time to move on.
Wil Chaney
Marriage is for consenting ADULTS. Those who get married and still have other sexual partners should not have said “I do”. This rule applies to straight people as well as gays. Get married to someone only when you can commit 100% of yourself to them. It’s meant to be a lifelong partnership.
Dwight G Grogan
Almost all these statements could apply to straight couples too.
Rafael Seda
Thanks queerty for throwing shame on gays couples ! Damn it we just got the right to do it!
Glücklich
@Bromancer7:
Exactly. Not everything can be a success. Shit happens.
Corey Krantz
I think People ( gay and straight) spend more time planning a wedding and not on the marriage
Terry Purdue
Some people just shouldn’t get married PERIOD. Straight or gay
Brian Tyler
I’m only 31 yrs old and my husband and I have been together 13 years and married for 2. I couldn’t be happier with who I chose to spend my eternity with. All I can say is, don’t just get married just because it is now legal. Do it because you know it’s right and perfect for both of u.
NoCagada
GUESS WHAT? Gays are just as human as straights. How many long-term married straight people do you know that are 100% happy?
Chuck Stevenson
Wet blanket, much? Maybe a little soon to rain on a parade?
unclemike
None of these seem much different than what straight married couples might say or think at various points in their marriage.
*yawn* What else ya got?
Neonegro
Here I am thinking this was going to be an article on the different aspects of same gender married life but instead got the usual bubble gum pop piece.
Alex Davidson
Wil Chaney, I totally agree with you. People need to consider marriage and commit 100% if they are to get married. Gays wanted marriage they just don’t want the baggage that comes with it. Once married you must get divorced. Gays can’t get out of that one anymore like they use to be able to. You break you move out; Now you have lawyers to deal with. The community didn’t think long and hard before pushing for marriage before they understood their way of life would have to change if they want to stay the way they are and sleep around.
Clark35
What was the last image? It did not load for me.
Who actually goes on whisper anyway besides gay married men that cheat?
SportGuy
Gay or straight, if you get married and end up getting divorced because you cheated, you shouldn’t be allowed to get remarried. If you want a open arrangement, don’t get married.
MarionPaige
There has never been any evidence that hordes of gay men were running out to marry and, no one should expect a stampede of gay men to run out and marry now.
The very fact that a horde of gay men will NOT be running out to marry will prove, as I said from the git go, gay men are not interested in marriage. The handful of lesbian that were interested in marriage have probably already married.
POINT OF FACT: an article like this one from Queerty would probably never have been posted BEFORE the Supreme Court decision but the opinions expressed were just as true before Friday.
Chuck Cardillo
Same thing happens in hetero marriages.
Mack
There is nothing there except the word “gay” that hasn’t happened in a lot of straight marriages. Yes it’s a commitment but that’s what love is all about. As far as the sex goes, try different things in different places. Go away on a romantic weekend if you can afford it. If you can’t go to a local hotel for the night just to do something different. Marriage does require work but the rewards are great in most cases.
Jesse Balcuns-Contreras Jr.
Marriage is a roller coaster twists, turns, ups, downs, and sometimes the darn thing reverses.
BJ McFrisky
@Bauhaus: You see, this kind of statement proves again that you’re so hidebound, your brain could be mistaken for a cow’s ass.
I never said anything disparaging about the ruling, because I’m happy about the ruling. My comment was in response to this story about divorce—nothing else. But you, being the angry tantrum-thrower you are, can’t pass up an opportunity to show how nasty you are by lashing out unprovoked. Congrats on that. You’re officially a dyed-in-the-wool hater. Break out the champagne.
Bauhaus
@BJ McFrisky:
Cheers.
Matthew David Thompson
Matthew McMillion
Brenda Gibson
Who you marry is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life. Gay people or straight people make your choice wisely.
Jimmy Williams
gay divorce court should be very intertaining though!.
Daniela Strobl
Those are the same things, straight ppl would say….except for the gay sauna thing x)
jwtraveler
@Wil Chaney: @Alex Davidson: Funny, I’ve always thought that LGBT people were fighting for the right to define our own lives and relationships. Apparently, I was wrong. We were waiting for Wil Chaney and Alex Davidson to do it for us.
@SportGuy: I hope you`re not an example of what is going to become of us now that we can get married, taking on all the worst of heterosexual, self-righteous morality. I fear that there is going to be an anti-gay backlash from the married gay assimilationists condemning gay promiscuity and infidelity.
I don`t want to see Queerty become the QueerTea Party, but I’m afraid it`s coming.
Glücklich
@Brenda Gibson:
I second that.
There’s a saying, one I’m embarrassed to admit I read in a corny “Chicken Soup for the Soul” type of book: “Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.”
‘S’why I married Mr. Glücklich. He brings me a great deal of joy and makes me feel alive in a way no one else ever has. I hope I do the same for him.
Mitch Leachman
I’m pretty sure homos and heteros deal with this exact same thing.
GTT
50% of straight marriages end in divorce.
Many straight married guys are on craigslist.
A very high percentage of straight couples have affairs.
DarkZephyr
Even some of the guys in these situations are internal homophobes. Just because your husband thinks sex is more important than love doesn’t mean all gay men do and it CERTAINLY doesn’t mean that no straight men do.
Finrod
So…. gay men have a broad range of experiences in relationships, just like other people. Do tell.
jean
@Mitch Leachman: The only one that straights probably don’t deal much with is having your parents believe that your spouse is just a roommate! However I’ll bet that some even have that scenario. Many straight people have parents who don’t approve of their spouse. Some come around eventually, especially when they get grandkids.
Ron Parsons
Can we stop interjecting the word ‘gay’ into everything? ‘What every gay home owner should know’…My! I didn’t even know houses could be gay or straight! How is your water tank leaking at 3am any more traumatic if you happen to be gay than your straight neighbor?
‘Gay Rugby Team’… So we exclude heteros that are our friends from playing sports with us? ‘Gay Wedding Planner’… Now that one, if the emphasis was ‘Gay-Wedding Planner’ would make sense, as you’d have to be gay to deal with the drama that’s going to happen in s gay wedding!! ð???ð??ð???
Rob Moore
Just because we are gay does not mean we are blessed with some superior moral sensibility. When it comes to relationships, we are just as prone to temptations, boredom, aggravation, conflict, and underlying incompatibility as straight people. Just because we are married does not mean we don’t see attractive people to whom we are not married. We are just humans.
Mack
@Rob Moore: Just because it’s on the menu doesn’t mean you have to eat it.
gaym50ish
Marriage “equality” means being equally susceptible to the ups and downs of marriage that straight couples experience. When it works, it works, and when it doesn’t, it doesn’t.
My husband and I are are still really “into” each other physically and emotionally after 20 years. We are deeply in love and don’t feel the need to fool around with others. But we don’t look down on other gay couples who do.
After all, we will always be men as well as GAY men, and that means we’re naturally horny. Just like straight men who cheat, some gay men want something more. I just feel fortunate that my husband and I don’t feel that need.
Giancarlo85
Another major yawn article from the source of Whisper.
And this site has been giving me errors when I try to log in all day. Instead of wasting so much time with stupid articles like this one, they should fix the software on this site instead!
John Berry
Actually perfect timing. Welcome to equality. Welcome to the good and bad of ” married ” life. Hell not even married life but relationships in general. Being married just makes it harder to get out of. ( wait until prenups, alimony, child support, asset division, and everything else that straight couples have been dealing with come into play. This doesnt throw shame on gay couples. It shows that a gay marriage is the same as a straight marriage.
Glücklich
The whispers about shopping and working pique my interest.
The shopping one is incredibly petulant: “…marriage sucks” because there’s a budget? I’d be glad to be rid of that leech.
Meanwhile the husband who wishes he could spend more time husbanding than working…I’m there. If the overworked Whisperer’s husband is worth a damn, he sees how much energy is expended in service of supporting the household and makes sure their free time is as enjoyable as possible.
I’m in finance, the nature of which is global and 24 hours a day, and my job is travel-intensive and stressful but highly remunerative. They’re not called golden handcuffs for nothing. My husband doesn’t understand what I do but he DOES appreciate that I work hard to make his life as easy I can afford to (unlike the whiny Costco bitch). Mr. Glücklich gives back by bringing loads of light and happiness into my life.
Larry Frascella
Boy, you’ve jumped from joy to caution pretty quickly, don’t you think?
Johnny Angelo Paccini
<3
Moritz
There are all kinds of marriages. An open marriage is only one of them. If both parties want that, then it may even help them stay together. It is not ours to judge, unless it is our relationship.
Our problem is that we only have the hetero example, for both weddings and marriage. We now have a chance to change them to fit who we are. I doubt that monogamy will go out of style, even in SS marriages. But we don’t go into our marriages with pre-defined historical roles. During a wedding it usually ends with “I now pronounce you man and wife, or husband and wife”, thereby announcing to the world what their roles are. With gay weddings we can say things like, “I now pronounce you united in mind, body and spirit”, which does not define anyone, only their relationship. It will certainly be an interesting time for a while.
Jacob23
Ah, a timely delivery of raw sewage from the cesspool that is Queerty. Yes, we should all attribute great importance to a few sentence fragments from anonymous people found on the internet. That’s the kind of quality info on which you should base your view of marriage and your decision to get married. Despite the stupidity of this post, it is noteworthy that, although their goal was to score clicks and views by smearing marriage, the editors couldn’t even find a dozen negative tidbits on Whisper. Most of these anonymous guys are happy, assuming they exist.
Raphael
The fourth one is the cutest. This is what I hope for my marriage.
Dan Levin
Oh look. Another article from queerty that’s perpetuating stereotypes and discouraging a heteronormative lifestyle.
Not all of us are sex crazed queens you know!
SportGuy
@Dan Levin: Yes, that is very true. It is hard to find a good honest monogamous real relationship these days.
James Hart
I think that a lot of gay couples are going to have to at least pretend to your straight friends and family that you and your spouse are truly monogamous, or your straight friends and family will think gay marriage is nothing but a fraud. I have a friend in a “monogamish” marriage and his mother found out and said that she would have never supported gay marriage if this is what gays believed about marriage. I think a lot of other supporters of gay marriage are also going to feel as though they’ve been tricked into thinking gay marriage is EXACTLY like straight marriage, just like Justice Kennedy also believes. GOOD LUCK, BOYS AND GIRLS. You’ve got lots of explaining to do!
James Hart
@gaym50ish: Are you sure he’s not cheating on you? I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you. And if he isn’t cheating, what’s wrong with him? Is he fat or ugly?
Clark35
@MarionPaige: Says who? You? Just because you personally are not interested in marriage does not mean all or the majority of gay men or LGBT people are.
@Dan Levin: Exactly.
enlightenone
@Wil Chaney: “…Get married to someone only when you can commit 100% of yourself to them. It’s meant to be a lifelong partnership.”
Preach my brotha!!!!!!!!
DonW
@MarionPaige: I don’t know what rock you’ve been hiding under but I know a great many gay male married couples. Just because YOU don’t want to get married (or, more likely, no one wants to marry you) that doesn’t generalize to all gay men.
There may not be “hordes” or “stampedes,” because gays in general only represent a small percentage of the population. That has no bearing on the dignity or legitimacy of those who do choose marriage — any more than the size of the LGBT community is relevant to our equal rights.
enlightenone
@Corey Krantz: Amen! Think with your marriage and not with you penis!
enlightenone
@Brian Tyler: “I’m only 31 yrs old and my husband and I have been together 13 years and married for 2. I couldn’t be happier with who I chose to spend my eternity with. All I can say is, don’t just get married just because it is now legal. Do it because you know it’s right and perfect for both of u.”
This comment in its entirety should be placed on marriage license request forms!
enlightenone
@SportGuy: “Gay or straight, if you get married and end up getting divorced because you cheated, you shouldn’t be allowed to get remarried. If you want a open arrangement, don’t get married.”
This should be policy. Makes perfect sense to me!
enlightenone
@Mack: “…Marriage does require work but the rewards are great in most cases.”
You are one of my new online crushes. Yes, I said “one of!”
enlightenone
@Mack: “Just because it’s on the menu doesn’t mean you have to eat it.”
Snap!!!
Avery Alvarez
@BJ McFrisky: That’s funny. I’ve seen multiple right wing sites using the exact same idiom in their arguments against marriage equality.
So let me get this straight, your side lost, and now you continue to threaten us.
You do know that many countries before the US have marriage equality and nothing has happened? Did you and your righty friends forget about that?
We got what we wished for, we couldn’t be more happy, and threats from your side just add the perfect amount of schadenfreude
enlightenone
@Moritz: “With gay weddings we can say things like, “I now pronounce you united in mind, body and spirit”, which does not define anyone, only their relationship. It will certainly be an interesting time for a while.”
Love this, but it contradicts your “open marriage” concept, unless you are saying this would be another kind of marriage?
Glücklich
@enlightenone:
Good thing you’re not writing policy. *My* marriage, not yours. My husband and I will do as we please.
DuMaurier
An equal right to something doesn’t mean you have to exercise it. The constitution’s “freedom of the press” doesn’t mean everyone has to go out and start a newspaper. And now that it’s a done deal, let’s remember that for decades opposite-sex couples who could get married have decided not in, in the still accelerating millions (As someone who grew up in the 60’s, it’s almost not an exaggeration that it wasn’t until the marriage equality movement commenced that I heard anyone say anything good about “marriage” in general)
It was a smart equality strategy to emphasize all the horribles that come with not (being able to get) married–death taxes, no hospital visitation, all those Fed benefits–but countless hetero couples have voluntarily dispensed with all those things without living in misery. Again, the important thing is legal equality, not deciding what I or you or anyone should do with it.
enlightenone
@gaym50ish: “After all, we will always be men as well as GAY men, and that means we’re naturally horny.”
Come on now… That’s one major benefit of marriage, you have someone to be horny and get off, right. This is what you and your spouse does, right? right? right?
If HE isn’t available or not in the mood, God gave you a hand, a finger, and the ability to purchase a “toy;” if you want to add porn, go for it!
enlightenone
@Glücklich: “…My husband and I will do as we please.”
Not if my fantasy policy is adopted! Other than that of course you can do as you/he pleases.
That was a no-brainer!
Zombie_Killer
I have been married to my husband for 5 years, but been together for 26 years, we both are HIV+ and on disability. my only disappointment is that we lost benefits from medi-cal and food stamps which has made it more stressful for us.
SportGuy
@enlightenone: Well it would be nice if it were implemented or at the very least if we as a community could show the straights how marriage should be, monogamous and committed.
Jacob23
@James Hart: Gee, this one’s not too hard to interpret: James Hart is an aging lonely man who has spent his life jumping from partner to partner. Likely has a prodigious history of venereal disease to show for it. He is ashamed of what has become of his life and he is jealous of gay men who are now getting married. Since James lacks good character, he can’t simply wish these folks well and get on with life. No, he has to tear them down, bring them down to his own debased level. So James smears these married men the best way he knows how: by attributing to them the very promiscuous nature, lack of moderation, and lack of loyalty which characterize himself.
jwtraveler
@Dan Levin: No, some of you are self-righteous self-hating fags.
jwtraveler
@enlightenone: @SportGuy: You people make the Christian Coalition sound like a bunch of liberals. on Thursday you get equal rights and by Sunday you have turned around and started oppressing others. that has to be the quickest turnaround from oppressed to oppressor in history.