The 2020s aren’t the first decade in which the LGBTQ+ population has endured an epidemic, of course, but the COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted many a twenty-something’s “adulting” years. In fact, Reddit user u/GodMadeAdamAndSteve said he feels like his 20s have been ruined by the coronavirus crisis. He writes:
I just turned 24 when COVID started, and I was just finding myself. Then I went back home with my parents during the pandemic. Two-plus years wasted. Now I’m turning 27, and I’m actually behind where I was in the past.
So what now? Rents are crazy, energy prices are awful, interest rates are going up on mortgages. So I can’t buy. I can’t rent. I can’t do shit. I’m left behind. I date guys [who] got their shit together before COVID, so it was more just a blip for them, but for me, it was a major step backwards.
Anyone else experiencing this? Three years wasted, and now it’s getting worse.
And this fellow certainly isn’t alone. One commenter said that he had moved 400 miles away from his unaccepting family and was excited to “fully be [himself] and away from them,” only for those same family members to lose everything during the pandemic and move in with him. “It hasn’t been easy to regress back to the closet because they are uncomfortable,” he wrote. “Just hang in there. You got it! There is still a lot of life left. Hang in there.”
Related: 5 reasons gay men should get the Covid-19 vaccine
Another person said he endured severe depression from 2016 and 2018 and then moved from Texas to Idaho for a Ph.D. program, and that’s when 2020 hit. “My income was cut over 60%, [I was] facing eviction, faced racism, faced isolation because I was far from home,” he recalled. “I contemplated going back home, but I wanted to try to make my own way.”
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That user eventually transferred to a similar Ph.D. program in Florida and found his life’s purpose in COVID research, and though he’s still dealing with debt and physical and mental health issues, he’s not giving up. “I think the worst things happen to the people most fortuitous to withstand them,” he observed. “I didn’t want this to be this hard, but there’s nothing I can do but keep pushing ahead while living life despite not being ‘well off.’”
He went on: “Look around this world! So many of us are struggling. There’s commonality that’s not our fault, yet we don’t know how to come together to get what we deserve. Miseducation and propaganda is to blame, but once you get the self-responsibility B.S. narrative off your shoulders, you’re more empowered and feel less alone. That feeling is an oppressive tool.”
And a third user said he had to pause his medical training because his work in healthcare settings would put his cohabitating parents at risk. “The point is, it’s OK. Our generation is on a different timeline than our parents, and if you came from a struggling home, it was always going to be harder and much worse for you than your peers who came from better homes, with COVID or without,” he wrote. “The biggest thing is to sit down [and] analyze where you are, where you want to be, what is keeping you behind, what are your biggest issues right now, how you can solve them and be kind and proud of all the things you accomplished so far and all the things you will accomplish in the future.”
Related: Gay bars lead the way in requesting vaccine proof but policies vary wildly across US
Other commenters, meanwhile, told u/GodMadeAdamAndSteve that one’s 30s are the new 20s. “My early 20s was me trying to graduate from college, mid-20s was getting a job, and then [I had] a financial and personal safety net by my late 20s… all set to enjoy my 30s,” one wrote.
Another said, “30s have been so much better—you’re much more financially stable than you were in your 20s, comfortable with who you are, and more likely to have ‘settled’ as a person.”
And a third user wrote, “I’ve been really relating to the ‘Your 30s are just your 20s, but with money’ meme a lot lately.”
Covid Hermit
I’m 43, and at this point, I more or less have begun to accept that Covid has ruined the rest of my life.
Consider This
CH – I think there are many who share your feelings about Covid and what may well be permanent changes to our lives. There needs to be some serious reflection about how to best proceed.
john.k
I’m 73 and conscious that time is running out. So two lost years are no fun. On the other hand I did have the experience of finding my age a benefit in a gay bar (becuase I was vaccinated before the younger ones).
bachy
COVID has had an enormous impact on every age cohort. But here’s the thing: virtually every generation has some horrible catastrophe to deal with. If it’s not a plague, it’s a war. If it’s not a despot, it’s a natural disaster. No one escapes the staggering encounter with life’s dilemma. It helps me to determine what I can and cannot control, and then focus on the former. You can’t calm the storm… so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.
nunya
Please HIV/AIDS ruined many a gay man’s 20s, 30s etc.
olfwob
And ended a lot more gay man`s 20s, 30s and 40s
newtonfarmer1
this really pisses me off, my partner who is 15 years older than me hit 20 in 1978 he lived through the aids Crices, he had his own aids scare and watched friends and family die of the disease. so don’t you tell me that covid ruined your 20’s a disease where over 99% of people who get it survive. yes, there are some long-term consequences but if you follow the CDC guidelines like wearing a mask, washing your hands, staying six feet apart and getting your shot you should be able to avoid any major consequence. There are people who are still sick with aids 40 years later and they still don’t have a vaccine. so don’t give me that covid ruined my 20’s BS
Chrisk
Oh boo hoo. Covid ruined my clubbing and hooking up for awhile. Talk about delicate creatures.
LegionKeign
I guess prior generations may have been made of tougher stuff.
mz.sam
Keep wearing that mask…Covid is here to stay like the flu virus. Stay well and healthy, y’all!
jbrown84
Covid is here to stay, it’s not going to magically disappear. In fact new variants may make it worse in the future. So get out of your house and enjoy life. No point hiding away. Have fun. We are all going to die sooner or later. So make the most of your time while your on this planet.
newtonfarmer1
scientist will come up with a once-a-year vaccine maybe one mixed with the flu vaccine so it will be more like the flu
sfcarlos65
It is my opinion that we, collectively, as a society are not sufficiently angry at how vital information was withheld from us, in order to protect ourselves. I too, feel three years of my life was taken from me, and I’ve been, “out” for 35 years.
newtonfarmer1
so, should WWII solders feel 4 years of their lives were stolen from them or what about Korean and Vietnam solders
JeffBaker
My advice to the 20-somethings is to hang on, make do, be careful and don’t let COVID precautions destroy your life. I was in my 20s when AIDS started up, and I was very lucky that I stayed healthy (thanks partly to being careful!) and was in one relationship with one guy at the time. To those 20-somethings, again I say you can live through these times. “Tough times don’t last, but tough people do.”
eireapparent
#victimculture
RoyM
I’m old and watched many of my dear friends die a horrifying death of AIDS during the 80’s. I have no sympathy for these whiny little cream puffs complains about having to deal with Covid.
Me2
The over reaction to covid stole a lot from a lot of people. But I see it as an opportunity for the younger generation to develop solid convictions, get more politically involved, and use their collective power to change society to better serve their needs. They’ve already showed the world what could be possible during the George Floyd protests and subsequent social reckoning. Now is the time for them to come together and apply that same amount of energy to other issues.
IvanPH
Life is tough but we are tougher.