We all have those moments when we question our homosexuality, and those questions lead to even more questions. (For instance, isn’t heterosexuality, like, unnatural? Would I ever find happiness as a straight? Will I still go to heaven?)
One Redditor suspected he might have turned straight after heading to the fridge for a snack. Here’s a blow-by-blow of his nosh…
“I just ate some banana bread by taking a bite from the bread…”
OK, so far so queer, especially because banana bread is the official baked good of gay quarantine.
Related: 21 highly relatable memes about life in quarantine
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“…then went to my fridge and drank some milk straight out from the bottle…”
Straight from the bottle? Not using a glass? Things are getting a little straight bro-y here.
“…and then since some milk got on my mouth, I wiped it off with the back of my hand! AM I STRAIGHT NOW?”
A hand instead of a napkin?! Red alert!
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Commenters on the post concluded that this guy is “definitely” and “unfortunately”straight.
Others wondered what other straight behaviors this guy might be exhibit?
“Are you thinking of getting a minivan?” wrote one.
Asked another: “Did you burp loudly? I feel like that’s the finishing move. Bonus points for farting.”
One dissenting voice, however, argued that this milk fiend is still gay and “just a top.”
Other choice reactions:
“SMH at this bi erasure.”
“Only if your camo Crocs match the cargo shorts.”
“You’re not straight, you’re just a ‘90s TV character.”
“You did all that RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!”
MenziesJ
loved this.
Cam
That’s what people mean on dating apps when they say they’re “Straight acting”.