There’s no Emily Post for Grindr, but Reddit users have offered the etiquette they expect when meeting hosts for hookups.
The discussion unfolded on the r/AskGayMen subreddit, after one recently-out Reddit user said he just created a Grindr account and wants to be a conscientious host.
“When you go to someone else’s place, what are your minimum expectations (aside from the obvious) of the host, and what can I do as the host to earn some bonus points?” that OP asked.
How about we take this to the next level?
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For starters, a clean home, a clean bed, and a clean body are musts for many Redditors. Others expect hosts to have lube, condoms, and mouthwash.
Several users said a host should give his guest a glass of water—or, to allay any safety concerns, a sealed water bottle. (“I get really sketched out and can never accept a glass of anything from a host unless I’m right there with them watching them pour it,” one user pointed out.) Others suggested that the host offer his guest use of his shower—or, at least, fresh towels. “I always offer the shower and have a clean towel in there,” one commenter revealed. “I also have towels next to the sofa for those that just want a wipe-down without the shower.” Feeling ground down by Grindr? Perhaps you’re due for a profile refresh. And it’s important to get the vibe right, commenters said. “Always make them feel relaxed and comfortable and have an idea from your chats beforehand what you’re both wanting,” one recommended. Someone else wrote, “Put on some low-key, agreeable music. Like, just because it’s a hookup doesn’t mean all politeness goes out the window. Offer them a drink (alcoholic or not), ask how their day was. Obviously, you are there to hook up, not chit-chat. But how you welcome them goes a long way to making them feel relaxed and comfortable.” Then there’s this Reddit user, who lucked out with a Grindr date: “One guy offered me an ice cream sandwich after sex. He’s in the Host Hall of Fame for that.” Note: Responses have been edited for readability and brevity. And how would YOU respond?
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Is this the worst sort of message to receive after a Grindr hookup?
ddmtl
Please do not kill me or beat the crap our of me. Why not going on a patio an cruise the good loking guys and if is sex only you are looking for try the gay sauna. Much safer.
M K
So you’re saying… common decency and how you’d treat anyone visiting.
m
Yep
Chrisk
I’d always offer them a drink and small talk goes a long way. These are just the basics.
winemaker
The surprising thing, many men using these apps, grinder, tinder etc are looking for something more than a hook up and think this method is better than say a bar or the gym where you can meet the guy, talk to them and get a feel for them, are they rude and creepy or friendly and sane, and even then, proceed with caution. Hook ups are targeted to getting your rocks off and nothing more for many men. If you’re looking for something more than a ‘one time hookup’ or casual ongoing thing be upfront as some men are tired of the game players and looking for a relationship and don’t want to waste time and emotion on something that’s not what they’re looking for. There’s nothing more frustrating than wasting time and emotion and in the long run when both parties are on different pages. Bottom line hooking up is still dangerous, you’ve never met the guy in person, inviting him to your place or you going to their place is a crap shoot. I don’t want to sound like a party pooper but this is like the old bar days, you met somebody at a bar or venue, ended up at either’s place, thought they were sane and things went south fast, one party was assaulted, got drugged or robbed or worse. One more thing, if the guy’s rude, the place is dirty and he hasn’t showered, these are deal breakers for me but i’m involved with a great guy so I don’t hook up. Good luck to those out there doing this
henare
I, too, like an ice cream sammich afterwards.
abfab
There’s nothing more frustrating than wasting time reading winemakers comments.
Consider This
Some practical and common sense considerations here. Agree!