Harrison Butker

There’s one big irony associated with Harrison Butker and his pleas for men to exercise dominant masculinity: he’s a kicker! Butker plays the one position in football that doesn’t involve getting hit and banged around.

What a tough guy, huh?

But the sweet deal for kickers may be over. The NFL recently adopted new kickoff rules designed to encourage more returns, which have dramatically declined over the years. The league estimates between 50% and 60% of kickoffs will be returned next season, opposed to just 22% last year.

That means kickers, usually the last line of defense, could be needed to make touchdown-saving tackles more often. Which, in turn, means they might have to practice tackling, and you know, actually be football players once in a while.

But when it comes to Butker, that’s something the Chiefs would like to avoid.

Kansas City special teams coach Dave Toub told reporters Thursday he’s likely going to keep Butker on the bench for some kickoffs. His reasoning is pretty straightforward.

“I like to have somebody who’s able to make a tackle,” he said.

In other words, “Get coach a real football player! Stat!” 💅

Toub elaborated, acknowledging that while Butker is capable of tackling, it’s not something that Toub wants him to do with any regularity.

“We don’t want Butker in that situation,” he said. “He can still kick a touchback if we need it. But if you kick a touchback in the back of the end zone, now they’re getting it at the 30-[yard line], instead of the 25.”

To spell Butker, the Chiefs will probably turn to safety Justin Reid, who was their emergency kicker last season. As Toub puts its, not only can Reid kick. He can tackle, too! You know, like a football player!

“Justin can kick. He can go down there and make tackles,” he said. “A guy like Justin is a guy they have to worry about. They have to get him blocked.”

Many on social media pointed out the delicious contradiction.

Earlier this month, Butker delivered the commencement address for graduating students at Benedictine College, a conservative Catholic school in Kansas. The religious zealot proceeded to rail against gender ideology and Pride Month, telling students to take pride in biblical teachings–not their LGBTQ+ orientation.

“Not the deadly sins sort of Pride that has an entire month dedicated to it, but the true God-centered pride that is cooperating with the holy ghost to glorify him,” he lectured.

The climax of Butker’s speech came when he told women to retreat into the kitchen.

“I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolic lies told to you. Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world,” he said.

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Over the last couple of weeks, Butker has been exposed as a fraud in every single way. We found out his mother didn’t embrace her role as a homemakers; but rather, her career as a physicist. She currently works in the department of radiation oncology at the Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta.

Dr. Butker specializes in two forms of radiation: brachytherapy and Gamma Knife medical physics care. Harrison, meanwhile, kicks a football through two little posts.

And doesn’t even tackle anybody, in case you forgot!

Even the nuns at Benedictine College–yes, the nuns—denounced his misogynistic remarks.

“Our community has taught young women and men not just how to be ‘homemakers’ in a limited sense, but rather how to make a Gospel-centered, compassionate home within themselves where they can welcome others as Christ, empowering them to be the best versions of themselves. We reject a narrow definition of what it means to be Catholic,” they said in a statement.

Doubling down, Butker addressed students last weekend at the Regina Caeli Academy in Nashville, and reiterated his regressive stances.

“If it wasn’t clear that the timeless Catholic values are hated by many, it is now,” he said. “As to be expected, the more I’ve talked about what I value most, which is my Catholic faith, the more polarizing I’ve become. It’s a decision I’ve consciously made and one I do not regret at all.”

While Butker may be the new darling of right-wing media, his reputation across the NFL seems more mixed. When the Los Angeles Chargers revealed their 2024 schedule in a video, they knew exactly where to place him…

When kickers now expected to tackle once in a while, maybe Butker will be forced to swap his pads for an apron after all.

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