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Here at Queerty, we’ve made a habit of updating you on all the latest and gayest that television has to offer—not to mention our handy guides to the small-screen’s frequent full-frontal features—and there are certain channels we know are good for some hot and heavy queer content: HBO, Showtime, what have you.
But we have to admit, there’s one network that hasn’t been on our radar at all, and it’s one that’s frequently offered up some of the most homoerotic programs to hit the airwaves: The History Channel! We’re so sorry for not bringing it to your attention sooner.
The long-running cable channel (now referred to simply as HISTORY) has received some criticism in recent years for pivoting away from actual history and focusing more on reality programming about pawn shop workers and big rig racers. However, they still offer up a wide range of documentaries and deep-dive investigations into the past, some of which we’re pleased to report look very, very gay.
For example: Just this week, we came across a preview for an upcoming limited docuseries called Colosseum, an eight-part look at gladiators, “the heavyweight champions of the Roman empire.” See for yourself:
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Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Gladiators were the heavyweight champions of the Roman empire. Here’s a sneak peek into the limited documentary series, Colosseum. Don’t miss the premiere, Sunday, July 17 at 9/8c only on The HISTORY Channel. #ColosseumHistory pic.twitter.com/n7KVwb4yvq
— HISTORY (@HISTORY) July 5, 2022
Okay then, HISTORY, you have our attention. Suddenly, Colosseum has shot to the top of our watch lists!
As the teaser shows, yes, there’s plenty of your requisite “talking heads” from historians and experts, but—importantly—there’s also reenactments of gladiatorial battles featuring plenty of buff, largely naked men getting up close and personal in fights to the death that, nevertheless, have us feeling things. If we’re being honest.
HISTORY appears to have spared no expense for these reenactments, bringing together period-accurate costume and set design, a cast of strapping young actors (what are their @’s?), special effects, and even—apparently—ringing every last drop out of a rain machine because, man, these gladiators are soaked!
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With so much ancient Roman eye candy, you could fool us into thinking these were deleted scenes from Starz’s notoriously sexual Spartacus series. And while we can’t imagine this largely educational affair will go “whole hog” with the male nudity, Colosseum still promises to be one of the gayest things you’ll see on television all year.
Remember when you were younger, sneaking peeks at Cinemax late at night with remote in hand, quickly changing the channel the minute you thought your parents were approaching? Now we can’t stop laughing about the thought of baby gays doing that with The History Channel!
At any rate, the first of Colosseum‘s eight-part run debuts on HISTORY on July 17 at 9pm ET/PT. You can watch another sexy (sorry, it’s true!) teaser below:
CatholicXXX
Some hotties, shame about the fatties.
scotty
spoken like a true bigot.
DarkZephyr
@CatholicXXX
Its too bad you’re ashamed of yourself.
Neoprene
The filmmakers are just trying to be fat inclusive. I applaud them.
Bosch
Most people try to make a good impression on others.
stevieboy3362
Fat-shaming a$$hole. F*ck off.
Evilklown13
That’s the biggest problem with todays gay community, they ignore the bigotry within. It’s no wonder we can’t move forward!
tallskin4
Yeah, there’s NOTHING sadder and more annoying than a fat f@ggot. They were the bane of my young gay life, wobbling over the dance floor to pester the fit, normal bodied people, to demand sex, and if you didn’t give it them they’d get upset and cry and try and make you feel guilty.
Nah, the fat fvks, PUT DOWN THE BAGS OF BUNS and go on a a fvkng diet, go to the gym like normal people do. Fat people are fat because they eat too much, being overweight is the one thing that everyone can control- by watching what you eat
Ok, i know you morons are all americans and you’re all as fat as small moons orbiting around planets, but the rest of the world, we control what we eat.
Bosch
And here’s tallskinhead, reminding us that Europeans can be just as dumb as Americans!
PS he’s lying: I’ve been to the British Isles. They’re not as thin as he’d have you believe.
abfab
4skin. Read this and then please leave the room Your fish and chip shop is still open, your Wimpy Burger, too
”British colonisers turned Pacific islanders into some of the fattest people in the world by trying civilise them with fried food, a study by Oxford University has found. [Telegraph]”
LunaSol2010
Fat because they don’t do diets and gyms? What about body types. Ectomorph, Metamorph Endomorph… can’t fight those DNA factors that makes beautiful bears and otters! There are nk ugly bodies, just ugly body shaming 4skin and catholickxxx
tanklv
Totally agree. F-ckit if you can’t stand the truth. In my day I liked fit men, as did most everyone. Fat was ugly and a total turn-off – for me. Now there are others who seek out fatties. Good for them. Not me.
Max
I’ve always been a sand and sandals fan.
gregg2010
A layer of fat is good, particularly on a pork roast.
edwardnvirginia
Just like Queer Elite SNOT media to fetishize OPPRESSIVELY Humanity-DEFILING Mass-MURDERING/RAPE CULTURE as ‘sexy’ …. ain’t it?
fur_hunter
In the main picture…… I’ll definitely take the one on the right with the face fur…. Oh Yeah!… I just know he could make me say DADDY!……. EHHEHEH AHAHAHAAH HEHEHEHEH
ondaboat0069
Already a flaw. Why is the sun shining so strong and bright when it’s pouring rain? Dah!
Rikki Roze
The devil is beating his wife.
queerbec
A heavy gladiator packs more power to overcome the lions and the twink gladiators! They could be an asset on my team!
CityguyUSA
Eye candy. The only reason to do anything anymore according to Queerty anyways. If a week goes by that I don’t read about eye candy on Queerty they’d be on the edge of being a improved publication. On the other hand it’s their constant reminder that they are selling to the very people that just want to look at pictures sucked in by some racy title. I can see all the images that I need in any given day on IG why bother having to read some long length article about something that holds little importance and hat offers only one or two eye candy images?
EdwardA
Will they point out that the death was never mandatory in a gladiatorial fight? that they fought only 3-5 times a year for 3 years as gladiators? they fought in pairs. the point was a 12-15 display of martial skill and valor. Most did not survive to the age of 30 it seems. Gladiators had to be rented – the onwer of a dead one had to be paid his value by the owner of the victor. Women were confined to the top tiers. the fights were mainly an event for males in a disarmed population that was gittery – ancient societies had not police forces as we know. Rome had the Urban Cohorts and the Vigiles (armed firemen and night watchmen).
JeffBaker
Now why can’t men dress lie that these days? 😀
tallskin4
God talking of walking tubs of lard, i see democratic hopeful to replace Biden, JB Pritzker, is the size of a fvking mountain made of butter!
Yanks, stop eating so damned much!
Diplomat
Nothing better to squash a tub of lard like DeSantis or Trump than a bigger tub of lard with a killer resume like Pritzker`s.