Josh Hawley and Harrison Butker are pals. The two masc men like to hang out with their well-coiffed hair and tight-fitted outfits and take adorable pictures together. But these Abercrombie model lookalikes ain’t fooling nobody!

Fresh off a commencement speech in which he bashed Pride and implored women to stay in the kitchen, Butker is now the conservative right’s favorite NFL player. To show his support for the chauvinistic Kansas City Chiefs kicker, Hawley posted a photo of them sitting across from each other on stools.

“Never more proud to call Harrison Butker my friend,” he wrote.

Why must we pretend?
Why can’t we be more than friends?

As many LGBTQ+ folx on social media pointed out, Butker and Hawley don’t look like hard-right Republicans; but rather, two guys heading into Boystown for a wild night out.

At Queerty, we are obviously against any sort of shaming… unless you are an antigay Christian conservative who demonizes LGBTQ+ people, peddles problematic and outdated gender ideologies, and trafficks in hate. Then, you reap what you sow, sister!

All of Butker’s worst nightmares are now coming true, with reporters and Internet sleuths alike exposing him as a fraud in every single way. At Benedictine College’s graduation last weekend, Butker warned young women in attendance about “diabolical lies” they’ve been told regarding career advancement.

“I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolic lies told to you. Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world,” he said.

As an example, Butker cited his own wife, who stays at home with their kids.

“I can tell you that my beautiful wife Isabelle would be the first to say her life truly started when she started living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I’m on this stage today, able to be the man that I am, because I have a wife who leans into her vocation,” he said.

“I’m beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker,” he added.

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While Butker apparently feels strongly about women being homemakers, the kicker left out a couple of important biographical details. For one, he earns $4 million annually, awarding his wife the luxury of staying home (if she wants to).

Secondly, Butker’s own mother, Elizabeth Keller Butker, works nowhere near a kitchen. An accomplished physicist, she’s worked in the department of radiation oncology at the Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta since 1988.

Dr. Butker specializes in two forms of radiation: brachytherapy and Gamma Knife medical physics care. Harrison, meanwhile, kicks a football through two little posts.

Just as the Lord intended!

Despite Benedictine College’s conservative reputation, not every graduating senior was down with Butker’s atavistic message. One young woman in attendance, who earned a bachelor’s degree in graphic design, described the experience as “f*cking horrible.”

“Some of us did boo—me and my roommate definitely did,” she shared in a TikTok. “There was a standing ovation from everyone in the room, except me and my roommate and about 10 to 15 other women. You also have to keep in mind this was at a Catholic and conservative college. A lot of the men were like, “F*ck yeah!” They were excited. But it was horrible. Most of the women were looking back and forth at each other like, “What the f*ck is going on?”

Even the nuns–yes, the nuns–were appalled. The Benedictine Sisters of Mount St. Scholastica, nuns who live at the small Catholic school, expressed their disagreements with Butker in a statement posted Thursday.

“The sisters of Mount St. Scholastica do not believe that Harrison Butker’s comments in his 2024 Benedictine College commencement address represent the Catholic, Benedictine, liberal arts college that our founders envisioned and in which we have been so invested,” the statement reads.

“Instead of promoting unity in our church, our nation, and the world, his comments seem to have fostered division. One of our concerns was the assertion that being a homemaker is the highest calling for a woman. We sisters have dedicated our lives to God and God’s people, including the many women whom we have taught and influenced during the past 160 years. These women have made a tremendous difference in the world in their roles as wives and mothers and through their God-given gifts in leadership, scholarship, and their careers,” it continues.

“Our community has taught young women and men not just how to be ‘homemakers’ in a limited sense, but rather how to make a Gospel-centered, compassionate home within themselves where they can welcome others as Christ, empowering them to be the best versions of themselves. We reject a narrow definition of what it means to be Catholic,” the statement concludes.

Whew! Those sisters know what’s up. The NFL also distanced itself from Butker’s words.

“Harrison Butker gave a speech in his personal capacity,” a league spokesperson told Outsports. “His views are not those of the NFL as an organization. The NFL is steadfast in our commitment to inclusion, which only makes our league stronger.”

Obsessed with telling liberal-leaning (and usually Black athletes) to “shut up and dribble,” nobody on the right is instructing Butker to “shut up and kick.” Instead, they’re turning him into a martyr.

That includes Hawley, the author of Manhood: The Masculine Virtues America Needs. The junior senator from Missouri flaunts his faux-masculinity whenever he can, leading to plenty of cringey moments.

Most embarrassingly, Hawley ran away from the January 6 insurrections, fleeing the very mob that he riled up.

Now facing an influx of insults, maybe Hawley and Butker can around away together, too. One of them, in fact, is already running from gay rumors.

A college classmate of Butker’s, Atlanta comedian Sarah Bader, alleges he enjoyed a special relationship with a certain male cheerleader at Georgia Tech…

We have no idea whether that’s true, but we know one thing for certain: Butker and Hawley seem like they were made for each other. What a love story!

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