A man’s experience with dating app Tinder has sparked debate online. The gay man, who has a boyfriend, said on X that he’d been thrown off the app after seeking others for meetups.
“Ben” said, “I’ve been banned from Tinder for stating I’m in a relationship/we’re a couple. On the one hand can see how it might become tiresome for singles looking for a monogamous relationship & having to scroll past couples but also… it’s 2024, get with the times. Thoughts?”
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Last year, Tinder announced that “relationships take many forms” and that it was allowing users to indicate the type of relationship they were seeking. This would include options such as “monogamy, ethical non-monogamy, open relationship, polyamory, and open to exploring.”
It noted that “While 52% of Gen Z prefer monogamous relationships, 41% of them are open to or seeking non monogamous relationships with open relationships (36%) and hierarchical polyamory (26%) being the most popular types of non monogamous relationship.”
Queerty reached out to Ben and he shared the notifications he received from Tinder about the ban. He said his bio clearly stated he was in a couple. Some of the photos were of him alone and others included his boyfriend. He says he alone used the account.
A notice he received in early July said “multiple users” resulted in a ban. He successfully appealed and Tinder lifted ban on July 10. However, on the same day, he was banned again. This time, Tinder said he had been banned “for violations of our Terms of Service or Community Guidelines.” It offered no more details.
Ben believes it was because he’s in a couple and seeking to meet other couples or singles.
Filters
On X, many people responded. Some suggested they would prefer to see a filter in place that removed couples.
I def get the frustrations of seeing couples on there, a filter would be so simple though! Then everyone’s happy.
— Ben (@BenJT87) July 13, 2024
I don’t see why they are essentially closing themselves off from servicing those interested in ENM, etc.
— Jack (@ohsojack_) July 13, 2024
If they want to allow singles to find other singles, they could introduce a filter rather than ban couples imo 🤷🏻♂️
As a single person it’s very mentally draining to keep seeing so many couples on all apps when I seem to have no hope but instead of banning you all the apps needs to introduce a filter to almost turn seeing couples off so singles who don’t want to see that.
— R (@badman__r) July 14, 2024
Others had something to say about Ben’s relationship choices.
He’s lovely! Sorry if it makes you sad that there are diverse and different relationships out there. It’s great you’re confident enough in your own relationship to feel comfortable casting judgement on others. ✌️
— Ben (@BenJT87) July 13, 2024
Errr… You are in a relationship… Nuff said.
— Alan Hewitt (@AlanHew38179967) July 13, 2024
Others commented on the presence of couples on dating apps.
I gave up on tinder for that reason. Too many couples / open relationships.
— Toaster Philp (@philp83) July 13, 2024
Tinder responds
Queerty reached out to Tinder to ask for a clarification on its policies. It seems single people are free to state what sort of relationship they want (including polyamorous ones), but only single individuals can operate accounts.
“Each person on Tinder can only have one account, and that account can only have one owner,” said a spokesperson.
“For privacy and practical reasons, account sharing is a violation of our Community Guidelines and we will ban an account if we believe or have received a report that someone is using an account other than the account holder. You can read more about it in our Community Guidelines here.
“Individuals in open relationships, practicing ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, or those open to exploring are welcome to specify that on their profile using our Relationship Types feature. However, the same guidelines apply: each person must use their own account and not share it with their partner.
“If a user believes they’ve been wrongfully banned, they can access the Appeal Centre on mobile web to submit an appeal once they receive a ban or warning notification via email and in-app messages. The user will be notified of the review outcome and the final decision via email and within the Appeal Centre.”
Does it bother you to see people on dating apps who are already in a relationship? Would you welcome a filter to remove such profiles? Let us know below.
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“I feel like if you want to date, you have to be on the apps. You have to be on the apps to be in the game.”
winemaker
What’s the problem if this guy states he’s looking for guys comfortable with somebody who’s already involved with a boyfriend thus there’re nu surprises? At least he’s being up front so there aren’t any misunderstandings as to what he’s looking for. unlike many who use these apps for anonomous hook ups. I personally don’t like these apps as they’re impersonal, full of fraudsters and creeps who can’t meet people through conventional means or whatever. When connectiing with someone, it’s important to be up front with your situation, status and what you’re looking for and those who decline because its’not what they’re looking for for whatever reason, thank them for responding and move on. Don’t be rude and nasty, be better than so many gay men who think rude and nasty behavior is acceptable.
ggore
There are millions of single gay men out there that are seriously looking for a relationship, and we do not need those already IN a relationship clunking up the dating apps because they are looking for a hookup or a sneaky thing on the side unbeknownst to their existing partner.
GayEGO
Oh pahleeze! My husband and I were together 57 years, married the last 15 years. It is time to stop this bigoted nonsense!