According to the astrology nuts stars, Mercury is out of retrograde. So, are we feeling any better?
We lost a cosmic excuse for our own mistakes, but thankfully, the past week of LGBTQ+ news has provided plenty of opportunities to freak out.
First, Antoni Porowski launched a line of short shorts, country singer Billy Gilman and his partner tied the knot, and Charli XCX addressed the phenomenon that is “Kamala is brat.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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Plus, Joe Locke got candid about Heartstopper Season 3, Joel Kim Booster bared all on Industry, Latin pop star Johann Vera came out, and apparently, Armie Hammer can’t afford gas?!
Otherwise, we’ve spent the past week bopping, buying, and Jonathan Bailey-watching. What can we say? Retrograde or not, some things never change.
Without further ado, here are the 10 things we’re obsessed with this week…
1. Mean Girls Funko POP!s
We’re about a month away from the official Mean Girls Day — a.k.a October 3 — but these adorable figurines honoring the cult teen flick’s 20th anniversary have me ready to go full-blown Plastic.
The new release includes Cady Heron, Janis Ian, Damian, and Regina George ($12.99 each). While it’s a shame that there’s no likeness for Aaron Samuels (Jonathan Bennett), let’s be real: his sexy hair pushed back would cause too much drama.
2. “Meet Me Outside” by Greyson Chance
It’s been a summer of plaintive queer tunes, thanks to Greyson Chance. The out singer-songwriter tackled homophobia in his family (“Haymaker”) and loss (“Rearview Mirror”) over the past few months, and his new single “Meet Me Outside” is equally emotional.
Over acoustic guitar and heavenly high notes, the 27-year-old weaves a tune about a doomed romance with a man unable to commit or come to terms with his sexuality. “I’ll never meet your parents / I’ll never drink their wine / They’ll never hang up a frame with our picture inside,” he croons, before admitting: “Maybe that’s alright / So I’ll keep the car running, baby / Meet me outside.”
As he explained in an Instagram post, the ballad was inspired by “relationships where I knew that there was going to be no future, but I still stayed.” It’s a relatable but oft-undiscussed factor in early gay relationships, and he admitted, “It’s rather sad, but that’s what music is here for.” You might need some Kleenex for this one!
3. Patti LuPone & Mia Farrow
The iconic Patti LuPone and Mia Farrow sharing the stage is gagworthy enough. Still, this promo image from their new Broadway show The Roommate has sent the gays into a full-on spiral. The one-act play follows an unlikely friendship between the punky Robyn (LuPone) and straight-laced Sharon (Farrow), who is forced to get a housemate after her divorce.
Needless to say, it already looks like an empowering and campy good time — and the memes are startin’!
4. Love. Angel Music. Baby. by Gwen Stefani’s 20th anniversary
Gwen Stefani’s debut solo record Love. Angel. Music. Baby. was a pivotal moment in my pop star-worshipping development. I remember getting the 5x Platinum-certified album for Christmas, which is a sign of forthcoming gayness if I’ve ever heard one, but I did get the explicit version, so I knew my parents were “Cool.”
Somehow, Stefani’s pop opus is celebrating its 20th anniversary and marking the occasion with a special clear vinyl pressing with a hot pink splatter, on pre-order for $37.98. Say what you want about her next releases, but there’s no denying the run of hits that were “Hollaback Girl,” “What You Waiting For?,” and “Rich Girl.”
5. Harry Styles with mustache
Why does Harry Styles with a mustache kind of look like Bella’s dad, Charlie Swan (Billy Burke), from the Twilight movies? Moreover, why am I into it?
It’s a lot to emotionally unpack, and don’t get me started on the other pic of Styles that went viral this week, showing the mustachioed singer biking through the UK streets in — gasp — short shorts.
6. This ’90s-era denim tote bag
It’s a queer edict: one can never own enough tote bags. Since the algorithm gods blessed me with advertisements for the BDG Washed Denim Tote Bag, available in various colors for $29 at Urban Outfitters, I’ve been living in a ’90s daydream. (Should I get a landline?!)
As far as totes go, this oversized, soft-lined bag with a zipper is supreme. (And it’s denim, which was recently revived by a very shirtless Jeremy Allen White!) Whether grabbing groceries, heading to a picnic, or trying to have a mom-jeans moment without the whole mom part, you’re sure to score a few compliments.
7. The Barbie Phone
If you’ve dreamed of waking up to a rousing chorus of “Hi Barbie,” a la Margot Robbie, your time has come. Mattel and Nokia are teaming up to release a Barbie-themed flip phone for $130. The pink device offers texts and calls — meaning no internet or social media apps — and greets users with a voice message after powering on.
OK, it’s a little late to the party (and ridiculous), considering Barbie came out last summer. Still, unplugging from the web and embracing the plastic lifestyle sounds attractive. Maybe limited access to Twitter X is actually Barbie’s skincare secret?
8. The Gay Best Friend by Nicolas DiDomizio
On a recent trip to Provincetown, I snagged Nicolas DiDomizio’s The Gay Best Friend — on sale for $10.11 at Amazon — from the bookstore as a breezy beach read. The joke’s on me, though, because it turned out to be a queer rom-com that I could not put down!
The book follows Domenic Marino, who’s caught between “the hypermasculine and ultrafeminine worlds of his two soon-to-be-wed best friends.” Between planning the bachelor and bachelorette parties, a blossoming romance with a handsome PGA star, and overcoming his own failed engagement, Dom realizes that the one thing he should be focusing on is himself.
Needless to say, the novel will surely resonate with anyone who’s ever been dubbed “the gay best friend.”
9. Jonathan Bailey in glasses
Another edition of “10 things we’re obsessed with this week” marked unsafe from Jonathan Bailey. The Fellow Travelers actor has become a mainstay in this column, alongside his thighs and proclivity for milk-drinking.
Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but include him again after a promo shot for 2025’s Jurassic World Rebirth debuted this week. In the upcoming dino flick, Bailey is set to portray paleontologist Dr. Henry Loomis alongside Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali. And most importantly, he’s wearing glasses!
10. Halloween Oreo Cookies
Oreos aren’t just milk’s favorite cookie; they’re also mine. Despite having no scientific explanation, I’m willing to go on the record and say the brand’s Limited Edition Halloween Cookies with orange creme ($5.29 online; prices may vary) taste better than the originals.
Call me a sucker for seasonal marketing or a “spooky szn” follower, but the second these hit the shelves, I start stocking up. Whether dunking, stacking, or snacking mindlessly, there’s no cookie whose lid-to-frosting ratio is as precise. Sorry, Gaga, but the Chromatica Oreos could never.
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