Casually known to insiders as “P Town”, Provincetown, Massachusetts is a vibrant Cape Cod resort full of gays, Drag Race stars, crustaceans, and even some straight people.
The place is a reliable destination for seafood—and seeing other things–as I delightedly re-learned in my latest vivacious visit. To wit:
My hotel, Crew’s Quarters, is a charming and sexy mainstay on Commercial Street, dotted with vintage male products and Physique Pictorial magazines.
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As a nod to old-school homoeroticism, I saw men in towels sashaying through the hallway, no doubt because each floor has a shared bathroom, so the guys feel familiar in their homo-hygienic unity. The best touch of all is the pillow in your room, which excitingly vibrates when you lay on it. I wish my boyfriend would behave the same way!
Apocalypse wow
New York favorite Jacklynn Hyde did her very first P Town show at Crown and Anchor and killed it with an intoxicating “The End Is Near” doomsday premise. Jacklynn admitted that, when the apocalypse approaches, she doesn’t want to live in a stereotypical thunderdome and turn into a barbarian or live on a beach and learn how to kill and prepare lobsters. She’d rather just plotz with a bottle in her hand, and that defiant spirit infused her show, in which she was kinetically entertaining from beginning to end. And proving that the end never really does come, Jacklynn followed the finale by closing with an opening number she’d previously discarded!
A whole bunch of fabulous drag queens hit the stage of Post Office Cabaret for the Anita Cocktail Variety Show, easily the best drag review in town. Anita is fierce—and gets potently political towards the end—while bringing on smashingly talented stars like Maya Montana, Raquel Blake and Abby Cummings (plus chirpy guest star Sister Mary). Cummings was particularly hilarious doing a Celine Dion song (“When you touch me like this and you hold me like that…”), adding all kinds of bleeps and suggestive gestures to it that will make sure you never hear that song the same way again.
At the same venue, Owain Rhys Davies is a spark plug as Candis, a makeshift drag queen offering much needed help to the horny in Grindr Help Desk: The Musical. The show is light hearted musical mayhem, and the drag names tossed around—like Candis Get Bigger and Candis B. Saton—are real turn-ons.
More drag stars turning it out
Thorgy Thor (RuPaul‘s Drag Race, season 8) came to P Town for the first time and did a terrifically giddy show at the Art House. A classical violinist, Thorgy performed some fine fiddling, in between splendid storytelling (like about reactions to her most famous utterance, “I love Pink”), as well as showing some of the weird comments she’s gotten on Cameo. (“I wanted to book a video from Miz Cracker, but you’re cheaper.”) But the wacky Thorgy told us things are looking up, careerwise: “My agent got me an audition to do a film with Jennifer Aniston. I would play Prostitute #2!”
Another richly talented performer, Kevin Levesque, dazzles in Miss Conception Goes To The Movies at Pilgrim House, where the Canadian born drag queen sings fun little versions of classics like The Wizard of Oz and Sister Act. Levesque’s quick-change costume reveals are as amazing as his singing, and I loved him leading about half the audience in a Beetlejuice conga line around the theater.
Even legit theater in P Town involves subversive representations of gender play–and so I gladly went to see the Peregrine Theatre Ensemble revival of Hedwig and the Angry Inch at Fishermen Hall.
This version of the musical about the “internationally ignored song stylist” whose dreams (and body) have been tragically botched—directed/choreographed by Kyle Pleasant--features gutsy performances by Alec Diem as Hedwig (all sing-songy deadpan until things get more devastating) and Ash Moran as bitter husband Yitzak, as well as a wonderful cacophony of vintage rock fashion (costume and wig design by Seth Bodie). An onstage videographer shoots the action, projecting images on top of images that make for a surreally good take on the source material.
Dina’s the queena the P Town jungle
Delightfully demented goddess Dina Martina is turning it out at the Crown and Anchor, where her styling and makeup seem evolved and a little Lainie Kazan-ish, though her wildcat humor remains deliciously intact. Admitting that she’s on a no-meat diet (which lasts from 2 AM to 7 AM, at which point it’s basically “Bacon o’clock!”), Dina took us through her daughter’s goiters (one of which she was wearing, hair and all), her romantic entanglements (particularly with one guy who seemed to use his tongue to try and dislodge something in her throat) and her capitalist musings about how some cat food corporations interestingly own hot dog companies. Best of all were her ethereal stylings of tunes like “But Alive” (Lauren Bacall’s musical affirmation from Applause) and “Wichita Lineman”, which I can never unhear. Dina gives me life.
Next up?
At the inevitable tea dance at the Boatslip, I ran into Ryan Raftery, the acclaimed performer who’s done satirical shows all over the place based on Anna Wintour, Martha Stewart and other well manicured divas. So what’s next for Ryan? “JonBenet Ramsey!” he exclaimed. “And there will be a Mystery of Edwin Drood element to it.” I guess the audience can vote on whodunit—something the Colorado cops never seemed able to do.
And finally …
Several performers stopped me in the streets to beg me to review their shows at a certain overpriced inn and entertainment complex. I had to explain that I’m banned from the place because last year, I dared to write that sex parties go on there. As a result of my item, the manager repeatedly and obsessively contacted me to call me a dangerous, horrible person who was trying to get them shut down. I nicely offered to take the name of the place out of the writeup and promptly did so. But even after that, the maniac was still on a rampage, telling me “You’re horrible! You left in ‘Lots of anal’.” Whoops. Guilty as charged.
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