![Two men smiling and talking](https://queerty-prodweb.s3.amazonaws.com/2024/08/two-men-talking-smiling-872x491.jpg)
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, kind words can make all the difference.
In a recent r/AskGayMen thread, a Reddit user asked, “What’s the best compliment another queer man has ever given you?”
Subscribe to our newsletter for a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy. And the compliments proffered ranged from wholesome to, well, hole-some. Yes, even though the OP added “preferably without tryna f*ck you” to his prompt, many of these compliments came during X-rated encounters or with X-rated expectations! Here’s a selection of responses from that thread, arranged from sweet to spicy. “’You’re far past boyfriend material; you’re definitely husband material.’ The bittersweet way a friend with benefits told me he didn’t want to keep things going because he felt he was slowing me down from finding ‘the one.’” “My crush told me I’m a ‘solid 8’ when we were ranking our friends out of 10. This was when we first became friends. I asked him out almost a year later, and he rejected me, but we’re still friends, thankfully.” “‘You’re exactly what we need.’ The president of my local leather chapter while we were discussing why I, at 23, was so interested in being involved in leather.” “‘You’re a good person.’ He was wrong, but it still felt nice.” “It’s hard for me to find other gay guys that I actually vibe with. It’s nice to have a friend like you.” “I was at a gay club when I was around 25 and started talking to an older gentleman at the bar. No flirting, just shooting the sh*t, reading each other, yada, yada. I learned about his life in New York years ago, and he asked me about my life as well. We probably talked for 15 or 20 minutes. At the end, when the friends he’d been waiting for showed up (it was a going-away party as he was moving), he thanked me for the conversation and said it was refreshing. He said that while he was happy they didn’t need its protection, kids these days seemed to be drifting away from the gay culture he loved, but that I had the wit and sharp humor he remembered, that I knew a lot about the history compared to most, and that he was genuinely happy to see that somebody was keeping it alive. He said I made his night before it even began. It’s one of those compliments that I think I’ll remember for the rest of my life.” “‘It must be exhausting being you all day long. I have no idea how you keep up that level of attitude and energy. You’re an asset to us. Thank you.’ This was from the president of our local community center. We served on the board together. We were opening the first gay community center in our town.” “At a club, I met a guy through a mutual friend who invited me to a party he was hosting, then said, ‘There’ll be other beautiful men there, so you’ll feel right at home.’” “You’re sweet like candy.” “My first boyfriend said he was attracted to me because I had ‘kind eyes.’ I came out late, and when I did, it all seemed to be only about our c*cks, which was both thrilling and completely frustrating due to the objectification. I felt like he was the first man to ‘see’ me.” “It’s a tie between ‘You’re the perfect size for me’ and ‘You have a masculine side I really like.’” “Your chest is a work of art!” “That’s also why I like you: You have a dumb sub brain but a beautiful mind.” “Your future boyfriend must be lucky AF.” “I’m surprised someone as cute as you hasn’t been on a date or doesn’t already have plenty of guys asking you out already.” “Woof!” “‘I would totally take you on a date and do non-sexual things with you.’ This was, of course, after we had f*cked each other’s brains out and when we were lying in bed, coming down from the high.” “‘All these people, and I’m helplessly drawn to you.’ We were at a mutual friend’s wedding.” “‘I love watching you walk in the room and see everyone’s face light up. People either want to date you or they wanna be you. You make everyone smile. And I get to sit here, knowing that you are walking towards me because you are mine.’ That was my husband of ten years. Shortly after we were married, he said that to me. We were at a fundraiser for something, and he had gone in while I parked the car. He was the ‘belle of the ball’ himself, so it was odd to hear that coming from him. I’d get compliments, yes, but this one deepened my love for him.” “After pulling my pants down he said, ‘That’ll do, donkey!’ in Shrek’s voice.” “You taste sweet.” “You feel warm inside.” “Your mouth was really good. (I’ve gotten that several times over the years, so I’m stupidly excessively proud of it.)” “‘Your scent is psychedelic.’ … He said it with his nose buried in my pit.” “‘I can’t stop touching you. Your body is so tanned and toned like a swimmer’s, but you have curves like a woman. Damn, you’re perfection.’ This was in my early 20s. It was my sister’s boyfriend. We were drinking, quite obviously, and we ended up messing around. That little affair was on and off for years.” Note: Responses have been edited for readability and brevity.
How about we take this to the next level?
Friendly
Flirty
Related*
Romantic
Raunchy
SUPREME
a complete stranger who obviously has seen me before in the club came up to me and said “i fantasize about you when i masturbate”. i was very flattered by that.
Louis
“I didn’t know you were gay”. I, personally, feel that a lot of gay people in the UK make their entire identity be about their sexuality, whereas I feel like I’m a person who lives his life, does what he does, and just happens to be attracted to men. So for that internal feeling of mine to be evident externally, made me happy.
barryaksarben
after a horrible childhood with an abusive father who threw me out of the house at 18 and called me a fag back in the 70s I moved to LA for a guy who I had been dating long distance for a year only to have him get cold feet the day I got there and his best friend helped me find a new place in WEHO told me that I was a fine man and it was the much needed affirmation of my masculinity which had just taken a big hit. What we didn’t know is that we were soulmates and we became closer than lovers til he died in the early 80s from AIDS. I found my lover after that and when in doubt I would think of this comment and knew I could maintain a long term relation ship by falling back on my inner strength which he gave me starting with that one comment
barryaksarben
We need to be nice to each other and give other gay men compliments even if they misconstrue it as hitting on them. we need to know as a community our strengths
Woody
I once had a guy who would wander around different parking areas around Boystown looking for my car. Once he found it, he would wait for me because he was crushing on me. He once told me, “You are so beautiful and so ugly at the same time.” I agreed with him and it is still my favorite non-lover comment.
winemaker
Wow, what a great post. So many gay men have too much drama in their lives and treat each other like S**T if they’re not their type or if they’re having a bad day. That said, being polite and considerate of others and their feelings even if they’re not your type or not interested is a pleasant change of pace from the rude, nasty and presumptious gay guys out there who lack common decency and courtesy.
Louis
@Woody – I’m curious about this! Were you a looker but “ugly” on the inside? Were you “ugly” outside but beautiful on the inside? Were you not “conventionally” beautiful but despite that he found you beautiful? What made you (in both of your opinions) both beautiful and ugly?
radiooutmike
The first guy who turned me out. He was super chill and helpful.
Right in the middle of it, he told me he’d give up all his side pieces if was his. He also was really surprised when I told him I’ve never done it before.
Even if he was lying, it was such as ego boost and a confirmation that I finally did the right thing by coming out.
Stefano
I’ve never received compliments from other gay men. People where I live are pretty stingy on compliments, and gay men even more so.
Woody
Not true, Stefano. I complimented you here on these pages. Even though you like to rag on me (which is fine), I stated that you were a cutie.
Woody
@Louis
Particularly in my youth, I was often compared to Dolph Lundgren and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not conventional beauties – big strong face, blond hair. The ugly part was more about how I felt about myself and my looks at the time. I’m not sure of the origin of his ugly comment. Even though he was sort of stalking me, I was always nice to him.
Stefano
@woody : I’d forgotten about that one ! Thank you Woody. So only one guy has complimented me in 56 years. Should I consider myself lucky?
Stefano
@woody : I’m convinced that if we met in person, our discussions would be different. You do everything to be the center of attention, but I’d rather be alone than in the middle of people.I’m not even on any social media. I sometimes come to Queerty and comment…just for fun. It’s great to play things down…but I must admit I like to annoy you…you always take the bait. It’s like you can’t help yourself…you have to answer.