JD Vance

When trying to debunk allegations of weirdness, it probably isn’t best to carry around cups of imaginary semen!

Supporters of JD Vance, outraged at Democrats for characterizing their favored candidate as a social misfit, have taken to honoring his sperm. Many of them were carrying around JD Vance’s “Full Family Kit” at an event this past weekend, in an apparent nod to his fertility.

Both men and women, including some couples, participated in the bizarre and, frankly, creepy ritual.

The MAGA movement’s embrace of Vance’s seminal fluid appears to be in reference to the VP hopeful’s now-infamous remarks about “childless cat ladies” and people who don’t have children. Shortly after Trump selected Vance as his #2, his broadsides against “childless” women resurfaced, including comments he made on Tucker Carlson‘s show in 2021.

Vance argued the U.S. is run by “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.”

In addition to alienating voters, Vance’s chauvinistic comments have become a rallying cry for Kamala Harris and her female (and queer) supporters. “Childless cat lady” shirts are ubiquitous in Fire Island and Provincetown this August!

“It’s just a basic fact – you look at Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg, AOC – the entire future of the Democrats is controlled by people without children,” he said (Pete and his husband Chasten have twins, btw).

“How does it make any sense that we’ve turned our country over to people who don’t really have a direct stake in it?,” Vance added.

Rather than rally the masses, Vance’s mean-spirited words appear to be repelling them. Polls show the Ohio senator is the least liked VP pick of the 21st century… even more than Sarah Palin. His net favorability rating is -9.3%!

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Overall, Kamala Harris is blowing past Trump in both battleground state and national polls. The latest New York Times/Siena poll, which previously showed Joe Biden trailing Trump by a widening margin, shows Kamala is edging Trump in multiple battlegrounds, including Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, Arizona and North Carolina. (Democrats haven’t won North Carolina since 2008.)

Nationally, Kamala leads Trump by 3-6%.

Trump’s numbers are falling so rapidly, his campaign is now decrying the polls as–you guessed it–fake. On Sunday, Vance suggested pollsters are trying to discourage Republicans from voting.

“The media uses fake polls to drive down Republican turnout and to create dissension and conflict with Republican voters. I’m telling you, every single person who’s watching this, the Trump campaign is in a very, very good spot. We’re gonna win this race,” he said on Fox News.

While Vance’s denial of reality is pathetic, his excuses pale in comparison to remarks he made about Kamala in the same interview. When trying to assail her fiscal policy (polls show voters also trust Harris more on the economy than Trump), Vance invoked… Jeffrey Epstein?

“Giving Kamala Harris control over inflation policy, Shannon, it’s like giving Jeffrey Epstein control over human trafficking policy,” he told Fox News host Shannon Bream. “The American people are much smarter than that. They don’t buy the idea that Kamala Harris represents a fresh start.”

Ghosts of Epstein and his notorious private plane, the “Lolita Express,” have already come back to haunt Trump this election cycle. Last week, Trump used the convicted sex offender’s old jet when his plane was grounded in Montana due to mechanical issues. (A Trump campaign official said the campaign received the plane from its private jet vender, and would try to avoid using the plane in the future.)

Though Trump denies he ever flew on the “Lolita Express,” flight logs released in 2021 indicate he was a passenger on several occasions. Trump carried on a long relationship with Epstein; and at one point, was fond of the disgraced financier.

“I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy,” Trump told New York Magazine in 2002. “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

One of Epstein’s many perverted predilections was his desire to “seed the human race,” which brings us back to the Vance semen cups. Trump supporters appear to be mocking couples who experience fertility issues, such as Democratic VP hopeful Tim Walz and his wife, Gwen.

The Minnesota governor, who’s way more popular than Vance, has been open about the couple’s struggles to conceive. They had their first child in 2001, after years of trying.

“This is very personal for my wife and I. When Gwen and I decided to have children, we went through years of fertility treatments,” Walz told a crowd in Wisconsin this month. “I remember each night praying that the call was going to come and it was going to be good news. The phone would ring, tenseness in my stomach, and then the agony when you heard the treatments hadn’t worked.”

With that apparent dig in mind, Trump supporters’ infatuation with Vance’s ejaculations is even more sinister. It is weird, creepy and mean; otherwise known as the MAGA trifecta!

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