Hunky crooner Ricky Martin has opened up about the toll living in the closet took on him, and how coming out led him down the path to true happiness.
In a recent appearance on Proud Radio on Apple Music, Martin opened up about his meteoric 1999 rise to fame, and how trying to stay in the closet had a dire effect on his health.
“My music was being heard all over the world, regardless of the language,” Martin recalls. “I could high five God, but I wasn’t living to the fullest. I was sad. I was depressed. I would walk on stage to perform because that was the only way I could balance my emotion is to snap out of this heavy sadness that I was moving in.”
That sadness would eventually force Martin to walk away from stardom. “There came a moment that I said, ‘We need to stop. We need to stop the tour,’” he recalled. “I remember I was in Australia and from Australia, we were going to go to South America. And I said, ‘I can’t. I can’t do this. I need to go home. I need silence. I need to cry. I need to be angry. I need to forgive myself for allowing myself to reach this level, to get to where I’m at.’ And I took some time and I took a sabbatical.”
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Related: Ricky Martin opens up about the very real dangers of being a gay Latino man in America
More than 10 years later, Martin would finally go public with his sexuality in his autobiography. “I got to the place I was fighting as I was writing my book between saying, ‘Am I gay? Am I bisexual? Am I gay? Am I bisexual?,’” he remembered. “And either is okay, just go within and do not lie to yourself. And then I said, ‘Rick, you are a very fortunate homosexual man. You are gay.’ And I wrote it and I pressed send, and then I cried like crazy. And I’ve been super happy ever since.”
Subsequent to his coming out, Martin returned to stardom with the album Música + Alma + Sexo, a Broadway role in a revival of Evita and a judgeship on The Voice Australia. He also married his boyfriend Jwan Yosef in 2018. The pair have four children together.
rand503
Just about every gay man knew you were gay the moment you popped out on tv or the stage. heck, I was in P-town when She Bangs was popular, and. every place was playing it and everyone had a Ricky Martin photo somewhere. You weren’t fooling anyone.
I realize it’s difficult to come out when you are closeted, but when you become and international pop star, you should realize that your entire life is going to be scrutinized. Perhaps your manager or handlers should have encouraged you to come out? So much unnecessary heartache and unhappiness in an attempt to live someone else’s life.
In any case, it’s great that you finally came out and found happiness. And it’s great that you encourage everyone to embrace themselves. It’s what is needed everywhere.
Donston
It is weird how he thought believing he was “bi” meant not being trapped by “gayness” and meant overall hetero-normalcy. “Gay” is such an ego blow to many dudes. And when you’re depending on your looks and appeal to women, it’s not good for your career ambitions. While identity is so tied to ego and sociology for many. Based on his interviews, it seems as if Ricky has contended with some degrees of fluidity throughout the years. He claimed to have a longterm girlfriend who he enjoyed sex with and cared about. It highlights how merely “liking” someone, having attractions to someone and/or having some sexual enjoyment towards someone does not equate to that being where your general passions, affections, comfort, investment, contentment lie. A lot of closeted dudes, dudes desperately trying to be with a chick, and people who strictly push identity politics need to get that.
Cam
It is a weird thought process, thinking that saying you’re “Bi” is somehow any more acceptable to bigots. But I know a LOT of gay guys who first said they were bi before admitting that was their first step on their journey to coming out.
The problem is, it can cause confusion for people when they meet somebody who is actually bi, because a lot of them assume the bi person just hasn’t completed the journey yet. Hopefully this is a thing of the moment and traumatic coming outs will go the way of the dinosaurs.
Donston
Identity and why people identify as this or that will never be that straightforward. It will always be a mess, because what people are driven by is so varied, and people’s sexualities and orientations are so varied. First, fluidity is real, and a lot of people who truly experience fluidity experience it in different ways. So, someone’s sense of self can evolve quite a bit over the years. While we still don’t really have a consensus around what “gay”, “bi”, “straight”, etc. actually mean. Everyone has their own personal and convenient definitions of everything. There’s not even really a consensus definition around what sexual orientation is. Is it sexual arousal or attraction or desire or behaviors or enjoyment or passions or preferences? Then there’s paraphiliacs and fetishes. Then there’s the gender debate. Then there’s the romantic affections, emotional investment, relationship contentment spectrum. And of course, many people allow themselves to be dictated by ego or sociology or religion or money or politics or resentments or self-resentments. And homophobia, internalized homophobia and gay insecurities are still prominent things.
The concept of identity and why people embrace this or don’t embrace that will always be a mess. It will always be all over the place. That’s why my thing is less about identity pushing and more about educating, developing self-comfort and making sure you’re not driven by shame, fear or outside pressures. Identity in and of itself will always be a point of contention.
The real Bruce
I’m just happy that he finally came out to himself and then to others. Sometimes its hard when you have an image that gets so many people, men and women excited, to step back and take a good look at who you are as opposed to who you want the world to see you. I’m glad he found out and now he has Jwan and the kids and is REALLY HAPPY! Be happy for him. Cheers you two.
WSnyder
We’ve all seen the stories on how someone rose to stardom and then blown it. Rags-to-Riches-to-Rags. I think closeted celebrities are aware of these stories too and that fear is real. While most of these stories are related to drugs, alcohol or voicing opinions best left unsaid, I can’t think of any where coming out ruined a career [but I’m sure there are]. With SO many people coming out and doing well afterwards, I’m pretty sure that excuse is rapidly losing credibility. Now that’s not to say Managers and Agents still don’t encourage them to do so and some might still influence closeted celebrities to stay in the closet, I just don’t see how that fear still holds water these days, with the MAJOR exception of Pro Sports.
Wouldn’t it be FANTASTIC for a group of athletes across ALL the major sports to come out at once? Ten to twenty MAJOR players, men and women, holding a huge Press Conference to come out of the closet at the same time! It would rock Pro Sports to it’s very core. And I’m sure the repercussions would wash across the country like a tsunami. Teams, homophobic team-mates and homophobes across the country wouldn’t stand a chance in showing any opposition. It would be a game changer [pun intended].
Kangol2
A few years ago, some of the straight NFL players who were gay allies suggested your great idea, though I think it was focused on football alone, of having a group of athletes come out at once. That way they wouldn’t be alone and isolated, as Michael Sam essentially was–this was right before Sam, I think–and the NFL would have to deal with them and support them. It didn’t happen, the NFL basically left Michael Sam to fend for himself, and as they showed with Colin Kaepernick and other peacefully protesting athletes, despite the massive wealth the owners and teams possess, they are not especially brave or forward-thinking, but reactionary and punitive. But if it were possible to have a group of NBA, NFL, NHL, or MLB players to come out en masse, it would probably electrify the sports world (even today), ensure that they at least knew they weren’t alone, and also generate a lot of fan support alongside the certain backlash. If there’s any time to do it, now is it.
Donston
I recall there being rumors around five years that a group of NFL players were gonna come out all at once. But supposedly a couple of the top players pulled out, and the whole thing fell through.
I’m not here for trying to shame people out of the closet. I’m not here for reenforcing identity politics. I’m aware that everyone has their own journey and priorities. I’m aware of the homophobia that “out” public figures (particularly athletes) inevitably face. I’m aware of fluidity or confusions or not really knowing what you want or not being sure where you are in the romantic, sexual, emotional, relationship spectrum. But I am surprised and disappointed that in 2020 big league sports are still presented so hetero-normal. In all of NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, professional tennis, top level soccer there isn’t one publicly out player or any same-sex relationships. That’s kinda disturbing.
Kangol2
Don’t forget, Ricky Martin started as a child actor at age 9 and as a singer with the Puerto Rican boy’s group Menudo at age 12. So it wasn’t like he started at age 20, he was already in the business and had a reputation with fans as a young “straight” heartthrob with Latin music audiences. By the time he hit the mainstream, his image had long been set in many fans’ minds, though, as others on here note, when he became a crossover star, it was clear to me that he was probably gay, or at least bi. I think it’s particularly tough for musicians who start young, because fans develop ideas about them before they have grown up (look at so many boy bands, and girls’ groups, etc.), and once they are grown and has a clearer sense of who they are, there can be a huge clash between their public image and who they really are and want to be. He also is nearly 50 years old, so he was a star long before it was as OK to be gay as it is today.
Troysky
@Kangol2 ….thank you, I thought….huh? He has a strong performing history before 1999’s Living L V D L ……and he’s just as handsome now as he was 20 years ago.
rocknstan
Of course capitalism continues to be a domnant force controlling those who might otherwise be upfront about their sexuality or political stance. Make a fortune and then cut and run.
Ricky is too late in his personal liberation to be considered a gay champion.
For a while, his work with children was his mea cupla.
And get real: Menudo had a huge gay male following.
lord.krath
I can imagine the torture he put himself through. We build our own prisons… so many different types of prisons. The fascinating thing is that it is we alone that can free ourselves. I’m glad he is finally living his truth with a beautiful family to boot.
enlightenone
I’m with you! Spinning it because you want and it can’t be had “forces” you out of the closet after all the obvious lies send a negative message to gay youth that there is shame and guilt, etc. attached to what you are – at the very least emotionally destructive while reinforcing the “closet” as a necessary way of being in the world whether you are in the limelight or not!
ShiningSex
He came out 10 years after we all heard him say on Barbara Walters that he was gay even without saying it out loud. We heard you queen then and don’t care about you now. You’re late to the party. Maybe if he came out at that time, we’d have more respect for him.
Inspector 57
You judgmental a**hole.
He’s a latin man who had a hugely successful career and a lot to lose if/when he came out.
Who are you to say at what point in his life he should have come out?!
We all live our own realities. We all have to manage in the world we live in. There is NO prescription for when anybody HAS to come out.
Bottom line… He DID come out — in his own time.
I’m so glad he did. He’s a happier person, and it turns out that it has not hurt his popularity. (Except for you, apparently.) And he’s now able to live openly with his beautiful family.
You really need to work on your own issues.
Donston
ShiningSex is a bitter, catty, judgmental. He barely knows anything about individual struggles and journeys and barely knows anything about orientation, sexuality and gender. It’s best not to take anything he post seriously.
Woteva
I just remember being in a record shop in Ibiza and seeing his album Sound Loaded on the shelf. I though ‘What a handsome guy – wonder what he sounds like?’ and bought the CD purely on the strength of his GORGEOUS face. Never done that before. Anyway, that was the first time I ever heard Livin’ La Vida Loca’ and I remember thinking ‘This song is going to be a massive hit’ and it was. Then seeing his videos – Jeez the guy was HOT! I thought, ‘If only he was gay’ HA! Be careful what you wish for! I still occasionally go look at the video on YouTube of ‘Nobody Wants To Be Lonely’ because he is positively EDIBLE in that. I just hope he’s gorgeous outside AND in.