Talk about awkward timing.

A new Kristi Noem documentary is about to drop barely one month after she killed her chances of ever being picked as Trump’s #2 when she admitted to murdering a puppy in cold blood.

In case you need a refresher: In her crappy new memoir No Going Back, released in early May, Noem wrote in graphic detail about the time she shot a 14-month-old puppy named Cricket in a gravel pit because it was “less than worthless” and she “hated” it.

The shocking confession horrified pretty much everyone–Democrats and Republicans alike–and all but assured she would never be 78-year-old Trump’s VP pick.

“Trump isn’t a dog person necessarily, but I think he understands that you can’t choose a puppy killer as your pick, for blatantly obvious reasons,” a campaign insider told the New York Post shortly after the story broke.

Prior to that, Noem really, really thought she had a chance at the gig. She had everything carefully plotted out, too.

After endorsing the now-convicted ex-president last summer, she’s been making regular TV appearances and giving speeches at conservative conferences and other events around the country to increase her name recognition and boost her national profile.

This spring she had a whole media blitz planned ahead of the Republican National Convention in Wisconsin next month, where Trump will formally receive the party’s nomination for president and announce his running mate.

In May, she released No Going Back. Now, she’s about to drop a crappy new documentary called America’s Governor: The Kristi Noem Story.

The 45-minute vice presidential campaign ad special celebrates South Dakota’s gay-hating governor and features interviews with her family, as well as stories from her two books, Not My First Rodeo and No Going Back.

The doc was produced by Cleveland-based production company Transition Studios.

“Through exclusive interviews, behind-the-scenes footage, and personal anecdotes, America’s Governor offers a never-before-seen glimpse into the life and achievements of this extraordinary woman,” producers say in a press release. 

Clearly, it was made before Noem’s puppy-killing controversy derailed her political future and was intended to help generate buzz and excitement around her leading up to next month’s convention.

Unfortunately, now it’s just going to be this pointless thing that exists on the internet. Kinda like that weird commercial she made for that dentist’s office in Texas earlier this year.

Speaking to CNN last week, Noem tried to downplay her disappointment in losing the veepstakes by saying she “doesn’t care” about becoming the country’s next vice president anymore.

She’s perfectly happy in South Dakota, thank you very much!

“I don’t care. I love my job in South Dakota. I care about the fact that I want him to win and he knows that I will do that,” she told Dana Bash.

America’s Governor: The Kristi Noem Story premieres later today on Elon Musk’s right-wing online platform Twitter X.

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated