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honest abe

Abe Lincoln was a “side” & more surprising revelations from the queer history doc ‘Lover Of Men’

By Cameron Scheetz October 8, 2024 at 3:00pm
Image Credit: ‘Lover Of Men’

Every year, October marks National LGBTQ+ History Month, and what better to celebrate than with a tribute to our first-ever (allegedly!) gay president, Abraham Lincoln?

Our 16th U.S. president’s sexuality has long been the subject of debate, with experts pointing to historical records, Lincoln’s personal correspondence, and some good old-fashioned hot gossip as proof that, at the very least, he shared his bed with other men on multiple occasions.

So, what’s the truth, and why has it taken centuries for us to get the full story? And, if Lincoln would, indeed, be considered queer—at least by modern-day definitions—then what does that mean for America, and the principals and ideals that it was founded on?

All of that gets explored in the eye-opening documentary Lover Of Men: The Untold History Of Abraham Lincoln from filmmaker Shaun Peterson. Featuring rarely seen photographs and letters, re-enactments, and commentary from U.S. and LGBTQ+ history scholars (including familiar faces like Alok Vaid-Menon & Montana Rep. Zooey Zephyr), the film highlights how one of our country’s oldest rumors may have very well been based in fact.

Naturally, the film generated a lot of buzz when it opened in select theaters earlier this fall, and now that it’s available on digital VOD platforms, we decided to check it out for ourselves. From Lincoln’s bedside manner to the forgotten history of intimate male friendships, we’re breaking down the seven most surprising revelations from Lover Of Men.

Yep, Honest Abe was a side

At 6’4″, it’s nothing new to say Lincoln was a tall drink of water—his height is basically one of the first thing we learned about him when we were kids! But what we didn’t consider until seeing Lover Of Men is that that means he has plenty of thigh to go around. We’ve always admired a pair of long, strong thighs on a man, and apparently so did one of Abe’s first lovers, Billy Greene, who openly wrote about his admiration for the future president’s gams.

At least one historian featured in the doc theorized that Lincoln and Greene may have been fond of “femoral intercourse,” a.k.a. sticking it between those big beautiful legs of his. In other words, the president who oversaw our country during the Civil War opted not to choose a side—at least in the ages old debate between tops vs. bottoms. In fact, he was a side (allegedly) who instead preferred heavy frotting petting over penetration.

Lincoln felt the need for (Joshua) Speed

Image Credit: ‘Lover Of Men’

Of Lincoln’s supposed gay affairs, none were as passionate or as impactful as his years-long romance with Joshua Speed, a businessman whom the doc refers to as “the love of his life”—sorry Mary Todd (but more on her in a minute).

The two first met when Lincoln first moved to Springfield, IL to study law, and like so many young men when they ship off to college, they were down to experiment. Apparently it was “lust at first sight,” and before you knew it, they were sharing beds—and more. Even those that deny Lincoln’s queerness understand what a huge impact the stylish and smart Speed had on his life, and it’s said that his companionship (whatever way you might want to paint it) is what set this country bumpkin on the course to the White House.

But, come on, these two were in love! The records even show that, when Speed’s father died and he had to move to Kentucky to tend to family business, Lincoln was in such a depressive state that they had to put him on suicide watch. Abe was down bad.

The Homosocial Network

Image Credit: ‘Lover Of Men’

Lest you think Lincoln fell out of a coconut tree, Lover Of Men goes to great lengths to explain how he very much existed in the context of all in which he lived and what came before him. Which is to say that Abe was far from the only guy sharing a bed with other men back in the day…

As the doc explains, the broader culture was very different before the 20th Century, our world much more homosocial. For the most part, men and women socialized completely separately—it was incredibly rare for friendship to form across genders. As a result, it was way more common for male relationships, for example, to be more intimate and oftentimes physical. There’s plenty of photographic proof of this, too!

Things were simply more fluid back in the day. You certainly weren’t seeing people going around identifying as queer, but there was way more of a willingness for friends to—behind closed doors—act on impulses and desires. Come to think of it, most modern gays we know have slept with their friends whether they were in a relationship or not, so we guess that’s just our way of paying respects to our ancestors!

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Oh, Mary?

Image Credit: Getty Images

Good thing former First Lady Mary Todd Lincoln is getting her long-overdue spotlight in Cole Escola’s brilliantly bonkers Broadway play Oh, Mary!, because she’s sort of an afterthought here.

The Lexington, KY-born socialite was a real “belle of the ball” back in the day who said from a young age that she wanted to marry the president one day. Well, after Joshua Speed (of all people!) introduced her to Abe, that dream would eventually come true—though it took some effort. Apparently Lincoln at one point had called off their engagement because it was getting in the way of his “friendship” with Speed!

Even when they were married, Lincoln was known to share his quarters with other men whenever Mary Todd was out of town, which begs the question: Did she know other men were sleeping in her bed? Check out theater-world sensation Oh, Mary! to find out!

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Lincoln really had a type

Image Credit: ‘Lover Of Men’

Though he probably never got over Joshua Speed, there are at least two other men that many experts believe Lincoln was quite fond of, really underscoring that he definitely had a type: Dashing, daring, and “diminutive but manly.”

The first was Elmore Ellsworth who was an Army office leader of flamboyant militia known as the Zouave Cadets of Chicago who were essentially a traveling “show army.” Lincoln was apparently quite fond of him, but Ellsworth was killed while removing a Confederate flag from a building in Virginia—considered to be the first death of the Civil War. Lincoln, ever the sadboi, was inconsolable.

The second was Captain David Derrickson, Lincoln’s personal bodyguard during a year of his presidency. His frequent stays in the president’s quarter—when Mary Todd was away—was apparently the hot gossip amongst Lincoln’s staff and cabinet, especially after Derrickson was spotted wearing his night shirt. “What stuff!,” the wife of a Naval aide once wrote of the men’s arrangement—a phrase that seemingly confirms how piping hot the tea really was.

Science vs. Sexuality

Late in Lover Of Men, the documentary introduces a tangent that really deserves a feature-length deep dive all its own: How society’s turn toward science and psychology attempted to categorize humanity in a way that othered—and at times outright erased—queerness.

After the Civil War, America saw a rise in industrialization and urbanization that fully changed the way we looked at ourselves. Science became “the new religion,” and particularly the writing of Sigmund Freud led to the cataloguing our desires, enforcing a rigidity on something that was once so fluid. His work—which labeled queerness as unnatural or unhealthy—became the basis for medical study, and suddenly homosexuality was seen as a mental disorder.

The notion that Abraham Lincoln was gay has long been a topic of hot debate, and deniers will point to pages and pages of American history as counter-proof. But Lover Of Men wants us to ask: Who wrote that history, and what did they leave out?

Babe-raham Lincoln

And last but certainly not least—assuming the casting of the documentary’s historical reenactments was accurate—Lover Of Men taught us that young Abraham Lincoln was a total hottie. He’s played here by an actor named Alexander Collins, who we certainly wouldn’t mind sharing a bed with.

Check out some shots from Collins’ Instagram page below:

Lover Of Men: The Untold History Of Abraham Lincoln is now available for digital purchase via Amazon Prime Video and Apple TV.

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One Comment*

  • Jim

    James Buchanan was gay and was Lincoln’s predecessor

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