JD Vance was a slick talker on the debate stage, obfuscating his views on topics such as reproductive freedom and women in general. And members of the GOP, finally presented with a candidate who doesn’t rant about rally sizes, were overjoyed.

In fact, one could say they snapped their collective fingers and yelped out the ultimate affirmation: “YAASSS JD KWEEN!!!”

At least, “yassification” seemed to be on the mind of one Republican official: Georgia Rep. Mike Collins. The hardcore conservative, who regularly spouts wild pro-Trump conspiracies, greeted his followers “gm” on Wednesday.

But rather than post a pic or himself, or just leave the text, he included an altered image of Trump’s #2. There (s)he is… with a really, really sharp jawline!

It’s apparent that Collins, another regressive Republican, is trying to embellish Vance’s masculine features. Collins needs his VP to be handsome and strong, with a steely-eyed stare.

In other words, Collins wants JD Vance to be “glamorous…” in a hyper-masc sort of way.

Yassss!!!”

It’s appropriate that Vance finds himself at the center of this macho role-play. He’s one of several younger Republicans who pushes an atavistic view of masculinity, just like Josh Hawley. The quick-footed senator flaunts his faux machismo whenever he can, often to hilarious results.

On more than one occasion, the author of Manhood: The Masculine Virtues America Needs, has “yassified” himself as well.

There was a photo he shared this spring with Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker, in which the two chauvinists sat face-to-face in tightly fitted, yet tasteful attire.

Over the summer, Hawley ambushed his Democratic opponent, Lucas Kunce, at the Missouri State Fair, challenging him to what would’ve been a non-televised debate. Clearly, Hawley wanted to look like the dominant figure.

…In a pastel-colored flannel.

Vance, the hater of “childless cat ladies,” falls into the same trap. The Hillbilly Elegy author has articulated a near-medieval view on the feminine experience, berating women without kids as “miserable.”

On one occasion, he agreed with the idea that raising children is the “whole purpose of the postmenopausal female.”

But on the debate stage, Vance looked like he was borrowing a little trick from the ladies. We’d expect nothing less from an Ivy League kid who played around with drag in his college days!

Look at those smoky eyes. They come with a sharp glare.

Leading into Tuesday’s debate, Republicans, including Vance, have tried to question Tim Walz‘s masculinity. They’ve casted doubts about his military service and family relations, with Vance questioning the Minnesota governor’s affection for his wife.

“I remember when I had just been announced as the VP nominee, I gave my big speech and I saw my wife and I gave her a big hug and a kiss because I love my wife. And I think that’s what a normal person does,” Vance said in an interview.

He continued, “Tim Walz gave his wife a nice, firm Midwestern handshake and then tried to sort of awkwardly correct for it.”

Apparently, Vance was looking for Walz to be a little more feral. Maybe Rep. Mike Collins can show both of them how it’s done.

It seems like he’s already identified his dream girl.

Sign up for the Queerty newsletter to stay on top of the hottest stories in LGBTQ+ entertainment, politics, and culture.

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated