It’s too hot for pants and too brisk for short sleeves — welcome to the last few days of summer, defined by sweaty cups of pumpkin-spiced lattes, overworked ACs, and a decidedly uneven vibe.
Accordingly, the past week of LGBTQ+ news has been all over the place, but in the best way possible.
Unfortunately, we fell for David Muir clickbait and Patti LuPone and Madonna refused to put their feud to rest.
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On the other hand, Chappell Roan dominated the VMAs, Alan Cumming celebrated his Emmys win, and Colton Underwood previewed his nursery. Plus, Ian McKellen talked Lord of the Rings, Brandon Flynn got candid about 13 Reasons Why, and Bob the Drag Queen spilled Celebration Tour tea.
Aside from that, we’ve been playing games, blasting bops, joining clubs, and joining the cult of Mormon wives — more on that later.
Without any further ado, here are the 10 things we’re obsessed with this week…
1. Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza
Admit it: the title alone has you intrigued. This fast-paced and simple card game ($9.84 on Amazon) has sold over 8 million copies in over 50 countries and for good reason — it’s as addictive as its name is ridiculous.
The setup is easy: you take turns saying “Taco, cat, goat, cheese, pizza” and putting down cards. When there’s a match between spoken word and card, you race to slap the pile, and the loser takes all. Your gayme night will never be the same.
2. Halloween Tees
The only thing better than having supreme taste is letting everyone know you have supreme taste via graphic tees.
While these options from Urban Outfitters — including the Beetlejuice 1988 T-Shirt ($35), Buffy The Vampire Slayer Graphic Tee (on sale for $27.30), and Halloween Movie Poster Graphic Tee ($39) — are geared toward the autumnal season, you can get mileage out of these vintage-styled bad boys all year long.
Just make sure you’ve seen these flicks and shows before you wear them out because there will be a quiz in the form of a media-snob gay.
3. Benson Boone’s thirst traps
You’re probably thinking, “What’s a Benson Boone?” But alliterative name aside, you’ve more than likely listened to this raspy-voiced newcomer without knowing it. This year, his explosive breakout single “Beautiful Things” went viral on TikTok and peaked at No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100. On top of that, he performed a show-stopping rendition at this year’s VMAs, featuring busting biceps and backflips.
That said, the 22-year-old’s biggest feat to date might be a slew of Charlie Puth-esque thirst traps he shared on social media this week. With an American flag speedo, he’s now got the entirety of Gay Twitter X — myself included — sitting up straight and saying, “OK, I’m listening.”
4. Chill Beer Flannels
If you’re cold, they’re cold! OK, so these flannel jacket beer koozies — $20 on Uncommon Goods — are a little ridiculous. But why shouldn’t our brews (or hard seltzers if you’re that kind of gay) be fashionable in a world of insurance company-branded cozies and straight-wedding party favors? These beverage insulators just messaged me, “DL?” on Grindr while hitting on my girlfriends, and I’m not even mad about it.
I only wish they had an option that matched my trademark wool-collared denim jacket. Maybe next season!
5. “Talk Talk” by Charli XCX featuring Troye Sivan
If a remix starts with Dua Lipa saying, “Hay una fiesta en mi casa / Vengan / Será muy divertida,” you know it’s going to be a bop. In anticipation of their co-headlining Sweat Tour and on the heels of a Brat-dominated summer, Charli XCX and Troye Sivan joined forces for a banger devoted to the chatterbox in all of us.
It’s a refreshingly different and exceptionally unhinged remix of the original track, with enough sexy one-liners to give your straight friends a heart attack. (“‘Kay, here’s the plan, I wanna fly you out to Amsterdam / I got a good hotel to f*ck you in,” Troye croons, before issuing the ultimate invite to “pop our sh*t to Charli.”)
6. This hilarious SNL sketch featuring Chloe Troast & Timotheé Chalamet
Earlier this week, comedian Chloe Troast announced her Saturday Night Live tenure had been cut short and she would not be returning for the sketch show’s 50th season. Although the quirky 27-year-old’s run was short-lived, she joins an exclusive club of celebs like Jenny Slate, Joan Cusack, and Sarah Silverman, who all only lasted a season.
Judging by Troast’s hilarious Little Orphan Cassidy sketch (which co-starred a Timotheé Chalamet-faced moon), her career is only just beginning. And I will be practicing my impression of her singing voice all weekend.
7. Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Concentrate
Brat Summer is over, but Trader Joe’s Autumn is upon us! No one does seasonal goods quite like the specialty grocery store, and their fall selection is inarguably their best. Whether you’re shopping for chips, ravioli, or pancake mix, they’re going to have a pumpkin option — and more often that not, it’s going to be delicious.
My personal favorite is their Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate ($8.99, prices may vary), which has all the joy of an iced PSL from your favorite coffee shop, but with the ability to decide the milk or water ratios on your own. Now if only the 80 degree temps could catch up with the vibes!
8. The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on Hulu
To quote The Daily Beast‘s Kevin Fallon, “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen, and I pray that it runs for 40 more seasons.” I never thought I would find the banal gossip of a group of twenty-something frenemies in Utah so fascinating, but all of a sudden, I can’t stop thinking, “Can MomTok survive this?”
The Hulu series follows a group of young Mormon wives who met via TikTok and garnered millions of followers showing off their classic and clean lifestyles. But in the wake of a swinger scandal —yes, that kind of swinger — they discover rehabilitating their image and saving their bond might be more harder than they think. And on top of that, they drink a sh*t ton of soda.
9. Drew Starkey and Omar Apollo and Queer
Luca Guadagnino’s new film Queer premiered to rave reviews at the Venice Film Festival, with A24 snagging rights for its theatrical release.
And if lead actor Drew Starkey’s offscreen hijinx with co-star Omar Apollo is any indicator, it’s going to be a long and hot wait until it hits theaters.
10. Dad Club Baseball Hat
This unassuming baseball hat ($17 at Target) brings an unexpected, US Open-esque style of sophistication to being called “daddy.” It’s an exclusive club, but the good news is once you’re in, you’re set for life. The online exclusive is going quickly, so now’s the perfect time to snag one for yourself and maybe even an extra for next Father’s Day.
My biggest question is if the big-box retailer knew the LGBTQ+ community would be their biggest customers when they designed this hat — or was it just a happy accident?
Related*
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Covid Hermit
Pair the Chill Beer Flannels with a Harris-Walz camo cap for the ultimate Midwestern vibe.
tacocatgoatcheesepizza
Honored to be on the same list as THE Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Concentrate!