A post on Threads has gone viral and thrown up a range of advice worth sharing.
Trevor Kuhn (@lovedaddytrev) wrote: “Gay/Bi men over 50, what advice would you give to gay/bi men in their 20s and 30s?”
The post has prompted hundreds of replies. Below are just a selection of the more well-liked responses.
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Post by @lovedaddytrevView on Threads
“Don’t distract yourself too much with sex, hedonism and seeking external validation,” was the most well-liked comment. “Do the inner work to know yourself and be proud of yourself. Start building your career, something you love to do that brings you pride and joy.”
A 52-year-old said, “Learn to live alone. Someone can possibly make you happier, however, only you can make yourself happy. Your job, career, and passion are not always one and the same…and that’s okay. Move away from home, you can always pivot. Life is an adventure. Be present.”
“Stop worrying about what people think of you or how you look and all that nonsense. Spend your days on anything that creates great memories and friendships,” said another, wisely.
“Cultivate real friendships, not just ones fueled by alcohol,” offered a third. “Take care of your health and what you eat and drink. Learn financial skills. Be interested, not just interesting. Reach out, do some charity work, create relationships with all ages and all walks of life. Keep on growing while you can, you’ll start to recede soon enough. Life will see to that.”
Health and relationships
Others also mentioned health, with an emphasis on going to the gym to take care of your body, not just to look “hot”.
“Yoga. And meditation. Every single day. Everything else will work itself out,” offered a 60-year-old gentleman.
The themes of sex and looks cropped up again and again.
“Have at least one or two friends that you don’t bang. They will stick with u forever. Forget about Botox and fillers, baby, spend that money at the dentist,” said one guy.
“Don’t be ‘that gay’ who only has hot friends, is obsessed by their looks and trashes others,” said someone else. “As a community, we still get shat on by those who hate us for who we love. Lift up your fellow community members, support them and include them. All of them – LGBTQIA2S etc. we are stronger together.”
“Moisturise, try and get enough sleep, eat more salad, go on more holidays, accept more invitations to brunch, buy those shoes you’ve been wanting for ages, say hi to that guy at the gym/bar/Starbucks,” was another popular reply.
Others had relationship advice.
“I’m 55 and my advice is to know yourself. Really know yourself. So many people get into relationships that were doomed from the beginning. The reality is people don’t change much once they reach their 30s and so the idea that you’ll ‘change’ someone is nearly nil. Also, don’t shoehorn yourself into a preconception of what a relationship is. Every relationship is different, and if it works for you, run with it!”
“Don’t worry about the future, it’ll happen with or without you,” cautioned one man. “Find your own path and don’t worry about losing people on the way, it’s your journey, not theirs. If you’re lucky to find someone, hold on but not too tight you both have a life outside of your togetherness. Mostly find yourself peace.”
Two-way street
One well-liked comment said different generations have something to learn from each other: It’s not a one-way street.
“Learn about our history. Talk to the elders. It’s been a long and sometimes difficult journey, and it’s also been rewarding. To the Elders, don’t dismiss the young. We can learn from them as well. I’m 75.”
The post has prompted over 200 replies. Check them out for more wise words. A couple of elders took a more lighthearted approach in their advice to millennials and Gen Z.
“Don’t f*ck with Madonna – we will come for you 😂🤣😂”
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