The gay dating world is chaotic even for a gay pop star like Jake Shears.
The former Scissor Sisters frontman is arguably one of the most eligible queer bachelors around, but he’s now sharing how it’s been very difficult to meet guys.
Shears has been living in London for the last year and in a new interview divulged the thing he dislikes the most about the UK is how guys aren’t into casual flirting while on the street or in public spaces like the gym.
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“I don’t feel like men check each other out here,” the 45-year-old said on the All Out with Jon Dean podcast. “There’s not a lot of just flirting with guys here at all. There’s no acknowledgement of one another, even if you’re going to the same gym every day.”
He added: “I feel in other cities, New York being one of them, LA, people definitely acknowledge each other a little more, talk to each other, check each other out, flirt, cruise and I don’t see that very much here at all.”
Shears elaborated on how it’s been particularly tough to date because he does not spend time swiping right or left on the apps. In fact, he claims he barely uses them.
Although, based on his selfie game, we don’t think he’d have much trouble finding a match.
Profile pic unlocked:
The “Last Man Dancing” singer prefers meeting IRL and on top of not finding guys interested in making eye contact in public, he referenced how the recent closure of queer nightlife spaces – which many attribute in part to the rise of hookup apps – has made it even more difficult to find a partner.
“I’m not great on the apps. They don’t really work that well for me, so that’s kind of off the table. And I just found it hard to meet guys,” he said. “The bars are kind of gone. The sort of gays bars we used to go on a week night, that sort of culture is missing now.”
And it’s not just dating, Shears reminisced how the digital age has seemingly brought an end to the once common practice of hooking up after meeting someone in a bar. No weeks of endless texts and 43 photos needed. ‘Memba those days?
“The Joiners Arms [a beloved London gay bar that closed] or flirting with guys or like taking somebody home, it’s just something, like God, I can’t remember the last time that that happened,” he continued.
“I do think it’s a nightlife issue and just the apps taking that off the table. People rely on the apps for that so they don’t have to do it in person.”
Nowadays it does seem that most gays tend to go out to bars with their friends and relegate meeting new romantic partners to the apps.
And while the art of cruising has gone lost on the new generation, it’s not uncommon for gays of a certain age to be nostalgic for the way things were pre-2009.
For those looking to recapture the magic of that era, queer author Leo Herrera’s latest book (analog) Cruising offers tips for anyone wanting to connect without their head down in their phones.
But technology aside, Shears also admitted that his celebrity has been a challenge when trying to meet a potential partner.
“I’ve got no mystery about me,” he said. “You get a 24-year-old and they’re not gonna know who I am, but guys of a certain age are probably going to know who I am and I don’t know who they are,” he told Jon Dean.
“So it just means that I have sort of have a little bit less mystery which can be a kind of sexy thing to have a mystery about you so I mourn the loss of that sometimes.”
Shears is currently spending more time in New York City in preparation for the Broadway premiere of Tammy Faye, a musical based on the life of Tammy Faye Messner which he worked on the music and lyrics with Elton John.
Previews for Tammy Faye, which stars Christian Borle, Katie Brayben, and Michael Cerveris Jr., begin October 19th at the Palace Theatre.
While we hope Shears finds the Big Apple more hospitable for meeting men, you can check out all his thoughts on dating and more by viewing his full interview on All Out with Jon Dean below:
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