It doesn’t take a lot of sleuthing to know that Joel Kim Booster is in an open relationship. The Fire Island star has talked about his affinity for threesomes in the pages of the New York Post (Page Six to be exact) and on Watch What Happens Live! with Andy Cohen.

Then there’s his Twitter feed, which is where Booster called out a recent hookup partner who asked one question too many. The offending inquiry was an implication that Booster’s partner might not be aware of their decadent deed.

“Does your husband know you’re here?” the man asked.

Booster, suffice to say, was unimpressed with the post-coitus probe.

Booster’s tone–snarky and mean, very mean–suggests he’s not down with anybody who doubts the integrity of his relationship. But is that really what happened? Or was the offending party just trying to cover his proverbial bases?

Opinions were mixed!

“I mean that’s a very legitimate question. An even more responsible person would insist on receiving his consent first,” somebody posted.

“You get way too angry at benign statements lmao it’s so annoying,” another person added.

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Booster, a Twitter X Gay™ through and through, explained to his detractors why the question irritated him so much.

“The openness of my relationship is well covered before the hook up, what annoys me is when guys assume they’d even register as a problem,” he replied.

In addition, Booster objected to the timing of the query. It was proposed following the hookup, rather than before.

Maybe his new FWB wasn’t seeking his partner’s consent; but rather, was trying to be the drama…

“A question I was asked recently that I’ve employed is not just asking if someone is open but if they’re in a place together where this won’t cause an issue. That question feels responsible,” Booster added.

When Booster talks about his open relationship, he often stresses the importance of transparency (in colorful terms, we might add)!

“I see so much behavior in monogamous relationships that in the context of my open relationship would constitute cheating, but we save the moral superiority for when we debrief on the Uber ride home like a normal couple,” he posted earlier this year.

Whatever Booster’s arrangement happens to be, it seems to be working. He recently proposed to his long-time partner John-Michael Sudsina in Korea!

“Very much in love. Very happy. No matter where I am, he’s my home,” Booster posted on Instagram.

See?? The Loot co-star isn’t all sass.

Just mostly…

Booster and Sudsina are just two of many queer men who practice consensual non-monogamy. A 2021 study found that 30% of gay men are in open relationships, and that number is actually lower than previously believed. A 2010 study conducted by San Francisco State University showed half of gay men weren’t in monogamous relationships.

While polyamorous romantic setups are becoming more prevalent–even the ladies on The View are now opining on them–it’s clear that queer folx are far more versed in the arrangement. In the U.S., 77% of bisexual and gay men and 56% of bisexual and lesbian women have been in a consensually non-monogamous relationship, according to the NIH. (Overall, 1 out of 5 Americans have practiced some sort of consensual non-monogamy.)

For many, the idea that one person can satisfy all of their partner’s sexual and romantic needs for eternity is completely unrealistic, if not downright cruel.

RuPaul, who opened up his relationship with husband Georges LeBar, put it best in the pages of the New Yorker: “There’s no such thing as monogamy with men.”

That’s good enough for us! Next question, please…

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