Melania Trump is finally addressing those naked photos of her that were taken in the 1990s and have been widely circulating on the internet for the last nine years.

In a new promo video for her upcoming memoir, appropriately titled Melania, the 54-year-old ex-FLOTUS says she’s “proud” of her short-lived modeling career.

“Why do I stand proudly behind my nude modeling work?” she defiantly says. “The more pressing question is: Why has the media chosen to scrutinize my celebration of the human form in a fashion photo shoot?”

The answer to that question is fairly obvious: Because rolling around naked in bed with another woman for a sultry “fashion photo shoot” is in direct opposition to conservatives’ long-held beliefs about the sinful nature of same-sex love and the GOP’s own anti-porn platform.

In a section titled “Ensuring Safe Neighborhoods: Criminal Justice and Prison Reform,” the Republican Party’s 2016 manifesto, which Donald Trump signed off on, read:

Pornography, with its harmful effects, especially on children, has become a public health crisis that is destroying the lives of millions. We encourage states to continue to fight this public menace and pledge our commitment to children’s safety and well-being.

And Trump’s new playbook, Project 2025, which he plans to enforce if he is elected in November, declares pornography a danger to children and a gateway to LGBTQism, stating:

Pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children, for instance, is not a political Gordian knot inextricably binding up disparate claims about free speech, property rights, sexual liberation, and child welfare. It has no claim to First Amendment protection. Its purveyors are child predators and misogynistic exploiters of women. Their product is as addictive as any illicit drug and as psychologically destructive as any crime. Pornography should be outlawed. The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned. Educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders. And telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shuttered.

But perhaps the even more pressing question is: Why is Melania choosing to address her nude photo scandal almost a decade after the story first broke?

Also, can something really be called a “fashion photo shoot” when no actual fashion was displayed in the photos that were shot?

Dwight Rhoa GIFfrom Dwight GIFs

In the promo video, Mrs. Trump goes on to defend her naked modeling by comparing it to the work of master artists throughout history, including Michelangelo and his sculpture of David.

“We should honor our bodies and embrace the timeless tradition of using art as a powerful means of self-expression,” she says, without any hint of irony.

Evidently, she never heard about that principal of a local charter school in her home state of Florida who was forced to resign last year after parents complained about an art teacher showing a picture of Michelangelo’s 16th century marble statue to students, saying it violated their parental rights.

Melania’s 256-page book, which hits bookstores next month, promises to offer an “intimate portrait of a woman who has lived an extraordinary life.”

That “extraordinary life” has included a failed modeling career, a failed QVC jewelry collection, a failed line of caviar-infused skincare products, a failed non-fungible token business, and a weird marriage to a 78-year-old, 34-time convicted felon who she met while we was still married to his second wife.

Standard copies are $40. Signed copies are available through her website for $75. And for fans looking for bonus photos, a special edition is available for $250.

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