Michael Gunning is a catch. The swimmer and advocate is a national record-holder eight times over and an inspiring voice for inclusion. He’s seemingly always on the red carpet, whether it’s an award show or gala.

Oh, and the British native is a complete cutie. His smile and pink speedo always catch our attention!

But most importantly, Gunning is vulnerable. In a recent podcast interview, he opened up about his romantic life, and the self-doubt he’s experienced. His feelings of anxiety are relatable to gay men around the world.

“I’ve always been single, that’s the crazy thing,” he said on Best Magazine’s Suddenly Single. “It’s taken me a lot of time to love myself and be happy being me, being a bit different. I’m definitely ready for a relationship.”

When Gunning came out in 2018 on the LGBTQ+ British dating show, The Bi Life, he put himself out there in the most public way possible. But he’s struggled to do that romantically.

In fact, Gunning revealed he hasn’t been on a date since coming out.

“I think there’s a lot of inner demons that don’t pick up on people coming onto me. I’m so scared of getting my heart broken,” he said. “I haven’t had a date since 2018.”

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Gunning’s words are an important reminder that we’re all experiencing our own journeys. As a handsome and affable athlete, one wouldn’t expect Gunning to experience any issues with his confidence.

But reality often doesn’t match perception.

“I feel there’s an added pressure as a gay man to almost live up the stereotype of being a gay man–I don’t sleep around, most people would see me as being athletic and think I’ve had many dates, but I feel awful telling the truth and saying I’ve not been in a relationship,” he said.

Gunning added he feels there are expectations as a gay man that he must meet.

“I feel like the LGBT community has put this pressure on me as well to be a certain way and to live up to just my swimmer body,” he said.

Though Gunning is supportive of open relationships, he personally wants a monogamous partner. He says he finds the dating scene difficult to navigate.

“In the LGBT community an open relationship is really common and I’ve [met] a lot of open relationship men who have been so attractive that I’d love to have gone out on a date with them, but they’ve got a partner,” he said. “I just can’t get my head around how that would work… I could never do it.”

Gunning, who celebrated his 30th birthday this past spring with a sun-soaked dream trip to the Maldives, has already accomplished a lot in his life. He represented the U.K. and Jamaica during his 16-year swimming career, in which he set eight national records, won three British titles and two world championships.

Though Gunning was born in the U.K., he made his splash on the international swimming scene while representing Jamaica, his father’s home country. Quickly, he became the most accomplished swimmer in the Caribbean island’s history. Gunning holds the country’s records for the 200-meter butterfly and 200- and 400-meter freestyle events.

But that doesn’t mean his life was easy. 

Jamaica is one of the most homophobic countries on earth, and gay relations are illegal. With that dark reality in mind, Gunning was understandably trepidatious about coming out. He knew there was a real chance it could jeopardize his safety.

After Gunning came out, he received a deluge of hateful messages. But he received positive notes, too. He says the love from other queer people kept him going.

“Receiving so much hate online was incredibly tough, but the positive messages really got me through the darkness and showed me that I was never alone,” he told Queerty. “The light always outshines the darkness if we stick together and shine as one, and it felt great that I was inspiring so many people all around the world by just being me.”

Since then, Gunning has dedicated himself to uplifting younger queer athletes in a similar position. He was an ambassador for the Pride House at the Paris Games, serving as a resource for LGBTQ+ Olympians.

“I’ve already got Olympic blues but wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone for your love and support these past few weeks,” he posted on Instagram. “I might not have competed… but I’m so proud to have been part of all the action & contribute to inspiring everyone around the world!

Gunning embodies the power of visibility, and how representation comes in many forms. He wants queer people to know they’re not alone, no matter what they may be going through.

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