Mike Johnson is used to defending the indefensible, such as when a fellow Louisiana Republican made extremely racist remarks about Kamala Harris. But when the topic turns to Arnold Palmer’s genitalia, the ultra-conservative House Speaker becomes flustered.

Johnson appeared Sunday on CNN’s State of the Union for his regular round of damage control, in which Jake Tapper grilled him about Trump’s latest insane remarks. The lowlight from this past weekend came Saturday, when Trump extolled the late golfing legend’s package at a Pennsylvania rally.

The 78-year-old’s rambling remembrance lasted for 10 minutes…

“This is a guy that was all man,” Trump reminisced. “This man was strong and tough, and I refuse to say it, but when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there, they said, ‘Oh my God, that’s unbelievable.'”

He wasn’t done.

“I had to say it. I had to say it. We have women that are highly sophisticated here, but they used to look at Arnold,” the elderly ex-president continued. “And I had to tell you the shower part of it, because it’s true. What can I tell you? We want to be upfront, we want to be honest.”

Johnson, however, could not be honest. The extreme right-winger ignored Tapper and went right into politician speak.

“I think that the headline that I read about the rally in Pennsylvania yesterday was the big question, and it’s the one that Kamala Harris has not been able or willing to answer. And that is, are you better off now than you were under the Trump administration four years ago?,” he equivocated.

A veteran interviewer, Tapper didn’t respect Johnson’s obvious dodge. The CNN anchor pushed back, correctly pointing out that Johnson and other Republicans would feast on Joe Biden if he made similar remarks about Palmer’s package… or any man’s for that matter.

“Why is he talking about Arnold Palmer’s penis in front of Pennsylvania voters?,” Tapper asked.

That’s when Johnson put his fingers in his ear, and screamed “laa laa laa laa!”

“OK, don’t say it again. We don’t have to say it,” he whimpered. “I get it, there are lines in a rally. When President Trump is at a rally, sometimes he’ll speak for two straight hours. You’re questioning his stamina, his mental acuity? Joe Biden couldn’t do that for five minutes.”

While Trump’s rallies do drag on and on and on (and on and on and on), it’s worth noting that his X-rated recollections about Palmer didn’t come as a non-sequitur midway through his unwieldy declarations. They occurred right at the top! (Arnold Palmer’s daughter, FWIW, says she thinks recalling her father’s endowment is a “poor” way to remember him.)

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Trump’s mental acuity has (finally) become an election flashpoint, with the New York Times analyzing how the convicted felon’s speeches have “grown darker, harsher, longer, angrier, less focused, more profane and increasingly fixated on the past.”

On that note, Trump also warned last week about fighting an “enemy from within” when explicitly talking about California Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff. Johnson had no explanation for that, either.

“What he’s talking about is marauding gangs of dangerous, violent people who are destroying public property and threatening other American citizens,” he said.

“Nope,” Tapper responded.

A hardcore Christian, Johnson’s acquiescence to Trump’s vulgarity remains one of the most craven displays in politics. The man who wants to eradicate no-fault divorce–and is in a convenient marriage himself–swallows his supposed morals every time he defends the thrice-married, serial philanderer.

When Johnson speaks about Trump, the anti-gay Congressman often appears to be existing in an alternative universe. Who could forget when he attended Trump’s hush money trial about paying off adult film star Stormy Daniels, and refused to take questions from reporters?

“It’s like you were answering questions from a completely different interviewer,” Tapper said at the end of their segment.

That seems like an appropriate sign-off…

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