Straight people take everything from us: our culture, our fashion, our spaces. But “Locktober” is where we draw the line.
“Lock it in fellas…” you’re in for a rude caged awakening!
There’s a viral video going around TikTok of straight influencers (straight-fluencers? ew) encouraging their followers to “lock in” this October. And we don’t think these himbos have any idea what they’re getting into.
How about we take this to the next level?
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“Let’s go! It’s ‘Locktober.’ You know what that means. It’s time to lock in,” says some goofball with a backwards hat.
#GymTok #creatine #locktober
The next clueless hetero, who’s eating his “LAST MEAL” before “LOCKTOBER,” announces the date is September 31… a day that does not exist.
“Today is September 31. Tomorrow starts ‘Locktober,'” he warns.
Take out the lock and throw away the key. These boys deserve to be stripped of their excesses.
Starting with their mouths!
i think it’s kinda sweet that straight men have discovered locktober. lock in, fellas! pic.twitter.com/XlCwFeBROH
— just a spooky lil’ guy 🎃 (@justin_al3x) October 6, 2024
Related*
“Locktober” has me obsessed with chastity cages. Will locking myself up set me free?
“I have a friend who is big into the BDSM scene, and he recently told me he’s been observing the month of ‘Locktober’. My curiosity was peaked.”
“Locktober,” long celebrated in kink and BDSM circles, is going mainstream. With the continued erosion of sexual mores, an increasing number of gay men are sharing their affinity for locking away their genitals during the spooky season.
By wearing a chastity device for 31 straight days, participants say the restriction results in profound liberation. They no longer feel beholden to pressure regarding performance in the bedroom, or other societal expectations.
“How giving up control of your penis can set you free,” writes the Daily Beast.
Forced to pursue arousal in other forms, fans of male chastity devices say the experience strengthens their sex lives.
There’s also a sense of control that comes with confinement, according to Queerty advice columnist Jake Myers.
“Confinement also teaches men how to not give in to every sexual urge. In doing so, they gain a sense of control, and can assess what’s absolutely important to their sexual expression,” he says. “This allows them to let go of things they never knew they could, freeing up more time and energy.”
Freeing up more time and energy to engage in productive tasks like… going to the gym? “Daddywellness” says “Locktober is ON!”
“Here’s how you can accomplish all the goals you didn’t accomplish this year in the last 90 days,” the straight, mustached bro says on camera.
Oh, bless their hot, dumb hearts. https://t.co/xFiIdbSoTz
— Shorts Papi (@shortsking10) October 7, 2024
this is a prime example of people hearing a word and choosing their own definition. I’m cryinggg 😂 https://t.co/uE5HLTni35
— Crumpled Dollar 🌶🏳️🌈 (@SpicyDadE) October 7, 2024
I don’t think the guy who said “it’s September 31st” is gonna make it. 💀
— JD (WE ARE! … Penn State and Team Harris/Walz) (@JDCubs) October 7, 2024
Much like the dudes-only “man camp,” there’s an obvious homoerotic tinge to this latest iteration of male-centric advice. Many of the straight bros instructing their followers to “lock in” are ripped and muscly.
In other words, they are real men. Listen up and oblige!
If one wants to improve, he must be willing to deny himself pleasure…
“Yes Sir!”
Related*
New York Times makes stunning discovery that gay men, wait for it, like muscles
The New York Times is always on the cutting edge of gay culture…
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