TJ Callan thought his relationship with football would always be complicated. A South Florida native, he achieved his childhood dream and suited up for the Miami Hurricanes.
But his excitement was curtailed when he walked into the locker room and heard the way his new teammates talked. Callan was out to many people at his high school, where he thrived on his track and football teams. He quickly understood, however, that wouldn’t be possible at Miami.
Players on the team threw around antigay slurs with regularity, expressing hostile views towards gay people. When Callan abstained from the homophobic taunting, he became a target himself. One of his teammates labeled him an “undercover f*ggot,” and another pulled back a handshake during a film session, calling him gay in vulgar terms.
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Callan left the Hurricanes during the 2018 season, and then tried to quietly live his life. For a few years, that didn’t involve football. Then he received a message from Izzy Gutierrez, one of the most famous gay sportswriters in the country.
Gutierrez followed Callan’s story, and implored him to join a queer-friendly flag football league in the Fort Lauderdale area. At first, the concept seemed foreign to Callan.
That is, until he showed up.
“On the way home, I just started crying,” he said. “I called my mom and dad and was like, “I cannot believe I get to play football again… and be gay!” I felt like before, my identities couldn’t be in the same space.
“That was the moment where my worlds collided. It was like a breath of fresh air.”
Now a gay flag football vet, Callan pairs his identities as an athlete and gay man every day. With a new season starting up, Queerty recently caught up with the “U” product to talk about rediscovering his passion, gay football stereotypes and his favorite Lego creation. Here’s what he had to say…
QUEERTY: How do you feel about your college career now?
TJ CALLAN: When I first came out of that experience, it made me really sad. It was hard for me to remember all of the good times that I had. I went through undergrad having all of these different experiences, and not having much of an outlet to speak about them. I was still figuring out what that meant to me and my identity. But as time has progressed, I’ve started reframing [my experience]. Yes, these things did happen, but now I have such a great support system. I had so many cool opportunities to come and talk to different groups. Even this past year, I spoke with student athletes at our university about finding community, and accessing resources. Making myself available to help if there are queer athletes out there. I feel like that was something I really needed at that time. I think it’s great that I can be in these spaces now.
Have you had any notable interactions since telling your story?
When I initially put out the [Outsports] article, it had my socials attached to it. A lot of times, people would message me and be like, “Hey TJ, I’m not out. I’m having challenges with coming out to my teammates, or working through my identity with my coaches.” Just being able to offer up advice when they ask for it, it feels full-circle. When I look back, I wish I had somebody who I could talk to who was going to understand my experience. With all the people reaching out, I’m like “this is a great opportunity to pay it back,” and use my experiences so they don’t necessarily have to go through it. I find a lot of joy in that.
The “U” is one of the most iconic programs in college football, and known for its rowdy atmosphere! Does the reality match the reputation?
It’s kind of fun—I’m not gonna lie! You’re just so used to doing these things. I remember people being so excited, showing us tattoos of the championship years. People just being like, “Yo, I know every piece of information about you since high school.” And I’m like, “Damn, that’s very flattering.” I wouldn’t even know that about myself!
You’ll have a bunch of famous athletes coming in. I played with Michael Irvin’s son, and Michale Irvin would come in and I would be like, “Wow! He was in the Longest Yard, he was on the Cowboys, he was an incredible athlete. Am I gonna get screamed at? Is he actually that intense?” It was just really exciting to interact with people who I grew up watching. When they film stuff, it’s kind of funny. They’ll walk around and have to do multiple takes, because people are giggling in the background. It’s pretty cute.
What does playing in a gay flag football league mean to you?
It’s almost healing. My favorite part about playing football is competing and being on a team, and just having that camaraderie. When I was in South Florida, I didn’t even know there was a gay league. I was just existing, living my life. Then someone reached out to me, Izzy Gutierrez, and he was like, “Hey, saw you were in South Florida. You need to come down and join this league.” I was like, “No way? They have a league just for queer people?” I had graduated already, I was working. I would love to be part of this. A
A bunch of people had known about me before I got there. They just made me feel so welcome. I remember somebody came up to me and was like, “Hey, I read your story. It must feel nice for you to be in this space.” And it hit me. I was like, “OK,” and on the way home I kept thinking about what he was saying. I just started crying. I called my mom and dad and was like, “I cannot believe I get to play football again… and be gay!” I felt like before, my identities couldn’t be in the same space. I could be an athlete, but I couldn’t be gay. That was the moment where my worlds collided. It was like a breath of fresh air. I was like, “Damn, I finally get to just exist and play my sport without having to worry about being called names. I get to just be me.”
What’s one stereotype about gay flag football you would like to disprove?
A lot of people presume how you’re going to act based on playing a sport, specifically football. When joining a queer football league, you get so much diversity and range, from experience to personality to expression. It’s so beautiful to see. When other queer people hear about football, they think it’s the “butch gays”. But then you hear straight people talk about it, and they say “Oh, they’re not tough.” But you get the full range. Everybody is going hard, and having so much fun and competing.
It’s like when you’re at Pride, and get to see all of the queer people in the same space. You appreciate how different everybody is. It feels empowering being around such a big group of queer people. It’s a feel!
What do you do for fun away from the field?
I typically build legos. I recently saw [Chicago Bears QB] Caleb Williams had his Heisman trophy next to a bunch of his legos. One of my friends sent that to me and I was like, “I am obsessed with that.” I have a couple of them: this is my Batwing, this is my Thor’s hammer. A Baby Groot. I have a bunch in my room! I also find myself playing a lot of video games. College Football ’25 came out, and I’ve been having a ball with that right now. I started off with the Miami Hurricanes, naturally, and I think the last team I played with was Nevada.
What’s your favorite lego creation?
My Batwing is big as hell! My Optimus Prime is also one of my favorites, because he can transform. But building legos is very calming. It’s a little, mindless task!
