“You want me in there being your boogeyman. So give me a fight.”
Alana McLaughlin utters those life-defining words in a new documentary about her journey into the ring, Unfightable. Three years ago, McLaughlin became the second out trans woman to compete in mixed martial arts, the culmination of her excruciating efforts to be recognized as her true self.
It took months for McLaughlin to find an opponent, or a venue that would even host her.
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That phrase–“give me a fight”–might as well be McLaughlin’s mantra. The South Carolina-born debutante has been fighting all her life, born into an ultra-religious family that didn’t accept her trans identity. She was bereft of gender-affirming care, along with any kind of love and support.
As a last resort, McLaughlin enlisted in the U.S. Army, where she rose up the ranks and became a special forces medical agent. She was awarded eight distinguished service medals for her heroic work in Afghanistan.
Looking back, McLaughlin, who’s been diagnosed with PTSD, doesn’t remember her years in the Army fondly. It was a time of great struggle in her life, where she was battling dangerous conditions on the battlefield and a familial tug-of-war over her identity.
“I joined the military and special forces specifically, because my family felt it was better for me to go that route than to transition,” she said.
But when serving overseas, McLaughlin did discover her calling: MMA. A diehard fan, she ordered the shows on PPV, and started to view the sport as a way to escape.
While training to fight, McLaughlin says she felt like it was the first time she had control over her body. She was post-transition, and could finally act with autonomy.
McLaughlin knows other versions of her young self exist. Though she won her first and only fight, her true victory was entering the ring… as the woman she’s always been.
“I just want things to be better for people who come after me. I think I just want to leave the world a little bit better than I found it,” she said.
With Unfightable debuting in NYC Friday, Queerty recently caught up with McLaughlin to talk about her incredible perseverance, training for an MMA fight and why she’s not afraid of getting hit in the face. Here’s what she had to say…
QUEERTY: What attracted you to MMA?
ALANA MCLAUGHLIN: Growing up as a queer kid in the ’80s and ’90s in South Carolina and other parts of the South, it wasn’t very safe. I was attracted to martial arts in general. I was a big Bruce Lee fan when I was a kid. Just martial arts, it was a means to both protect myself and empower myself. Even when I wasn’t able to train, seeing martial arts represented in film was a little bit of escapism.
One thing I haven’t really mentioned is that I always wanted to dance, and it wasn’t something I was allowed to do. To me, martial arts was the closest thing I could get. It’s one thing to see somebody out there brawling. I kind of feel like I was less graceful in my fight than I would’ve liked to be. I’ve heard people use the term “poetry in motion” before. But with martial arts, there’s an element of dance to it. There’s a beauty in it.
Obviously, you’re not afraid to get hit…
Clearly! I have a habit of leading with my face sometimes.
I’m always interested in people who aren’t afraid of getting hit. It goes against our instincts…
I’m sorry I end up going to such dark places in these kinds of interviews, but as part of my upbringing, I was hit. I wasn’t allowed to cover up. I wasn’t allowed to flinch. I had to just stand there and take it. For better or worse, that’s become ingrained in me.
You’ve encountered so much vitriol, some of which is highlighted in the doc. What propels you to keep going?
Maybe it’s just spite. I don’t know. Ultimately, I think there’s some optimism I’m trying to cling to. I just want things to be better for people who come after me. I think I just want to leave the world a little bit better than I found it. Sometimes I feel like I’ve got some stuff to make up for. This is one of the ways I hope I can sort of move the needle.
Are there any interactions that stand out and make you think, “Wow, I’m really making a difference?”
I get a lot of private messages from younger queer and trans people. They’ll ask me for advice, or tell me they appreciate what I’m doing. That kind of makes it worth it. A lot of times, the messages I get are just slurs and death threats. But it’s gotten pretty easy to tune those out, just because I think of them as commercials. It’s the same thing over and over again. Mute. Block. They only have the same three or four things to say. But the positive bits are when I have some kid tell me, “Hey, I appreciate what you’re doing. You give me hope.” That’s the kind of stuff that makes me feel better.
What’s one misconception about trans athletes you would like to clear up?
Well, besides the moral panic and the hate mobs, we’re not that different from any other athlete. There’s lots of hours spent in your own head, working on your techniques, working on your conditioning. It can be a little lonely. But that’s sports. You put hours into training, and the fight only lasts a few minutes.
What’s one part of being an MMA fighter that people don’t know about?
Anybody who’s familiar with MMA, or spent any time in an MMA gym, they’re gonna know about the fingertip bruises and the wrenched joints and always being sore. But people who don’t follow MMA, they might not know about that stuff. I would say most fighters are probably already injured going into their fight. I didn’t get to throw a lot of kicks in my fight against Celine, and I really could’ve used them. But I had an injured hamstring, so I couldn’t throw a lot of kicks. As far as the nuts and bolts of MMA fighting, most fighters are a little bit beat up before they even get in there.
When you’re not hitting people, what do you do for fun?
Getting hit! No. I’ve said it a lot, but I’m kind of a boring old cat lady. If you follow my Instagram, you probably see that I’ve been out mushroom hunting in the parks a lot. Cooking risotto with foraged mushrooms. I like to bake. I’m not all that complicated of a person. I’d like to get back into doing art, I’ve got an art degree. I’m trying to start back into that. For fun, I like to get outdoors and spend time with friends.
Is it safe to say you’re a full-fledged cat lady?
I’ve got two cats. My partner has three!
Oh wow! How did you two meet?
Through Twitter, actually. Everybody does online dating these days. I never had much luck with that. But my partner and I, we’ve been together for over a year now. Everything is going great. It sucks it’s long distance, and we’re working on that. But we both travel a lot to see each other!
Watch the trailer for “Unfightable” below…
