This profile is part of Queerty’s 2024 Out For Good series, recognizing public figures who’ve had the courage to come out and make a difference in the past year, in celebration of National Coming Out Day on October 11.
Name: Parvati Shallow, 41
Bio: With her trademark pursed lips and winking smile, Shallow solidified her status as reality TV royalty after scene-stealing runs on four seasons of Survivor and The Traitors. Before cutting her teeth on competition shows, the Florida-born star was raised on a “hippie” commune. Later, she earned a degree in journalism at the University of Georgia, and competed as a boxer.
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Her television career kicked off in 2006, when she was cast on the 13th season of Survivor. Still, it wasn’t until her 16th-season return in 2008—billed as fans vs. favorites—that she scored the grand prize and reputation as one of the show’s greatest contestants. Shallow later returned for Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains and all-winner seasons, while spinning her high profile into side hustles as a yoga teacher and spiritual coach.
Nevertheless, one of her best moments to date came this year during the second season of The Traitors. Though Shallow was voted out of Alan Cumming’s castle, her fiery debates with Real Housewives star Phaedra Parks and highly memed reactions proved she’s still got game. It’s a good thing, too, considering she’s set to compete on Survivor: Australia vs. the World in 2025.
Coming Out: In true Black Widow Brigade fashion, Shallow’s coming out was straightforward and adorable. Just before the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve in 2023, she came out as queer and hard-launched her relationship with nonbinary comedian Mae Martin.
“We’re here. We’re queer. Happy new year,” she posted on Instagram, alongside pics of the two kissing.
As the reality TV legend told Advocate, her “journey is very different than most people who are out.” It wasn’t until 2021 when she divorced her husband of four years (and fellow Survivor contestant), John Finche, that she began to discover her queerness.
“Going through my divorce really shattered a bunch of paradigms for me,” she explained. “It made me much more open-minded in many ways and available to very new and different possibilities in my life.”
According to Shallow, she had been dating Martin (who led Netflix‘s acclaimed dramedy Feel Good) for eight months before their big announcement. They moved in together this year, creating a space for their blended family, which includes a daughter Shallow shares with her ex-husband.
“I’m just really happy and this relationship has a healthy emotional, physical, and spiritual connection,” she said. “It’s healthier than any relationship I’ve ever been in in my life. I tell all my friends to be queer!”
Fan Status: Despite joking with Logo that she had a “hard-stop” rule against dating Survivor fans, Shallow wouldn’t have met Martin without the show.
Shallow’s sister attended one of the Martin’s performances, where they joked about Survivor. Then Shallow watched Martin in The Flight Attendant, before finally mustering up the courage to slide into their DMs. (Her message: “Hey, why haven’t you invited me to a show?”)
In typical queer fashion, Shallow and Martin began dating instantly, and her rulebook went out the window.
“Mae is a giant geek about Survivor, so it was a stretch for me to be OK with that, but… I’m also a fan of Mae,” Shallow told Logo. “I laugh so hard when I go to their shows, so it really works for us. We’re both fans of each other, so we’re like really nerdy.”
That’s not the only way Martin has expanded Shallow’s world, either. As the brunette bombshell explained to Paper, dating a nonbinary person changed her understanding of gender, stereotypes, and relationships.
“Being in this queer relationship has really allowed me to drop all of these roles that I thought I had to play and helped me stop worrying about these power dynamics,” she said. “It’s allowing for a depth of truth and love to occur that I’ve never experienced. I think as long as people have enough of an open mind, they can be really, really happy.”
